Since yesterday I have had a sharp pain and crackling in my lungs. I've never had lung problems before so this only serves to further my belief that New Mexico is trying to kill me.
This morning I woke up at 7am, lungs aching, and pulled a muscle in my neck yanking the blankets from my side to Rob's.
I tried to wake Rob up so he could come with me to drop Cypress off at her first day at daycare. He was dragging his feet so I passive-aggressively left by myself.
On the way, we approached a train crossing and just as I was about to drive over it, I saw a yellow light and the crossing lights started flashing. For those of you who don't know, I'm terrified of trains and train crossings, and as you can see below, this morning I got a front row seat. I saw the homeless guy selling newspapers avoid me because I was crying and hyperventilating, and Cypress started flipping out.
The road to Cypress's daycare was closed because someone was murdered there yesterday or the day before. I tried to find a quick way around but all the roads were either blocked off or dead ends. Because of all the stopping and going, I could tell that Cypress was starting to get sick and I had to keep moving my damaged neck because of all the lane-changing I was doing. I actually had to drive almost the entire way back the way I came to find a new way because I suck at directions and maps.
Once we got there Cypress was extremely overwhelmed by all the smells and the noise so I'll be worrying about her all day.
On top of all of that, today marks 17 years since my best childhood friend died of cancer. This isn't something that really dominates my day anymore, but it seems appropriate that if I'm going to have a shitty day it'd be today.
Now I'm home, and the day can only get better, right?
i was sort of laughing at your morning drama until i got to the part about your best childhood friend dying of cancer and i felt really bad. i'm sorry :(
ReplyDeletei hope your day gets better though!
Geeze. That is one rough morning. I think everyone I have spoked to today had a crappy nights sleep last night, maybe there something in the air or water or some other vital element. I hope your day gets much better!
ReplyDeleteoh no! i wish virtual hugs were as good as real ones...but for now they'll have to do! xo.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is a rough morning. Hope the rest of the day's better for you. x
ReplyDeleterough morning :( treat yourself to something delicious, and i hope your day gets better! sending you lots of love and hugs!
ReplyDeleteHope your day gets better along with the rest of your week!
ReplyDeleteAh I HATE crossing railroads even if there isn't a train coming! I always think a train is going to come out of no where and suddenly slam into my car.. I'm kind of dramatic...
ReplyDeleteTry growing up in the country with train tracks with no crossing guards that come down or blinking lights when a train is coming! I'm not a big fan of train tracks either after crossing and then seeing a train speeding by as soon as I crossed the tracks and looked in my rear view mirror...Blah! Sounds like you need to make yourself a margarita and relax in that jacuzzi! Hope tomorrow is better!
ReplyDeleteSo irritating!!! Hope the evening looks up. Loving your blog!
ReplyDeleteaw, caitlin! BUT your face is super cute since half of it is red and the other half isn't.
ReplyDeletesorry you had a shitty start to your day. i saw a train this morning and i thought of you, too. i was glad you weren't there with me for the train crossing, but then i guess the universe saw fit to get you stuck at one anyway :\
love you, weird friend!
damn girl, hope your day gets better. cypress too.
ReplyDeletethinking of you!
xoxo
liz
Oh Lady!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say I DON'T know how you feel, because it is the most horrible feeling.
Isn't it funny how when we are trying so hard to just "get through" the day one step at a time because you just aren't "feeling it" that day, the universe throws the things we need to "work on" in our face. A serious phobia, on the anniversary of a painful experience, with your pup involved!!
What I have gathered from similar experiences, that things are this are a "lesson." I try to incorporate this lesson in everyday life now (having a lot of irrational fears/anxieties myself). T
he lesson is: be kind to yourself, even when you are feeling irrational/out of control..
It helps me to say take a deep breath or two and say:
"Who does this belong to?
(pause expand the chest inhale, slowly exhale)
Return to Sender.
(pause expand the chest inhale, slowly exhale)
10,000 times with consciousness"
(This was actually passed onto me from a coworker, several years ago, and recently found its way back into my life randomly-- so now I pass it on to everyone)
It seems so silly, but it really works because you realize the fear/anxiety/whatever doesn't even belong to you, it was imposed on you by something that was completely out of your control.
I have a feeling things got better-- but I just went through a week of problem, after problem, after problem occurring: But just remember you actually have a lot more control than you think you do-- you are aware and you can do it, just go slowly, mindfully and with kindness to yourself, even the irrational side.
Sending the good vibes!
much love.
ryan
*things like this are a lesson
Deletetypes man.
Ah man, I'm sorry your morning went so awfully! Dogs totally pick up on our feelings of distress so I'm sure she was really worried for you on top of everything else.
ReplyDeleteI'm also really sorry about your friend- like you said on my post, even though a long time goes by, we still always think about it and link our days to those sad moments. Thinking of you today! <3
I love you, woman.
ReplyDeleteAw Caitlin I'm sorry this was a rough day for you. =[
ReplyDeleteI get the same way in new towns and can rarely remember directions until about three weeks in a new place (great for a traveler, eh?) so I completely get how overwhelming that is. Hope everything got better from there!