Lately I've had a lot of strange feelings in regards to the passage of time.
I think it's probably due to the fact that the move totally shook up my daily routine that I had established back in Maine and forced me to develop a new routine here. Once again I have the chance to consider the beauty of each step in our day and the glory of each individual moment, rather than letting it all sort of blur together in a haze.
For the first 5 1/2 years of our relationship, until we moved in together, Rob and I never spent longer than 2 consecutive weeks together at a time. The idea of living together and spending more or less every waking moment staring at each other was absolutely inconceivable. In our letters, emails, phone calls, and infrequent visits we would daydream about the day when we could find an apartment together, cook and clean together, drive to the store together, just the mundane everyday nonsense that everyone takes for granted. When we finally moved in together in 2008, it was like a magical switch had been turned on. All of a sudden the worry and fear were replaced with snuggles and happy and it was amazing.
After a few months it turned into a happy routine and the days sort of blended together in a normal fashion. It wasn't a bad thing, just a normal thing. It's easy to take someone who is right in front of you for granted.
Packing up and moving cross-country totally reset everything that we'd established over the last four years in the best way. Planning a move, finding a place, and getting settled in here together has only served to remind me of why I fell in love with Rob in the first place. Most days I feel like that giddy teenager all over again. The other night I was laying in bed and I honestly felt like I had closed my eyes as a 16-year-old and woken up to this amazing new life, as though the Army-college-separation thing never happened at all. I can't tell you how many times I find myself looking at Rob hardly believing that I somehow got so lucky as to get to spend my life with him, that for some reason he chose me and keeps choosing me every day. It defies logic, but I suppose the best things in life always do.
All in all, this helps remind me how important it is to appreciate the moment and to not get complacent with life. I may feel bored on some night where we don't do anything remotely productive, but it's important to always remember that 16-year-old me would've tap-danced naked through a room full of Johnny Depps to get to spend every day doing mundane bullshit with the one I love.
I'll let that image set itself firmly in your mind.
I'm so happy I have this space to share all of this with you guys. I've said it before but thank you for reading and commenting as much as you do.
Also, today is Cypress's 4th birthday! Tuna and vanilla ice cream all around!