As most of you know, I found myself in the hospital today because of a cactus spine in my finger (which, by the way, wasn't there anymore...don't worry, there was pus though). You guys are really lucky because I was able to chronicle for you the fashion-forward outfit the hospital so generously provided to me.
I really liked this gossamer-thin hospital robe with its choose-your-own-modesty-level back ties and one XXL-size fits all shape. I love having the freedom to show as much or as little of my ass as I shuffle down the hallway to the bathroom for the 17th time. And this hair cover? So perfect for eliminating any vestige of beauty, dignity or individuality.
Next up we have these hospital-grade socks with grips on the top and bottom, you know, just in case. These were perfect for the afore-mentioned shuffle down the hallway and had the bonus feature of giving me the appearance of cankles. I was lucky enough to get to take these home, so...score 1 for Caitlin.
I also got to meet a nurse who made up for what she lacked in bedside manner with mustache and awkwardness.
I also got to meet a nurse who made up for what she lacked in bedside manner with mustache and awkwardness.
Finally I got to go home with a lovely yellow sheen to my skin from the soap they use in the OR and a lovely full-finger bandage that I get to wear until next Tuesday. Who really needs to type or not only have use of one hand when wiping their ass, am I right?
i think the endless grips on the socks are a great idea. sometimes i like to slide around on the floor like a seal, and those would be super dandy at a time like that!
ReplyDeleteyou.were.so.brave.
and i want to know how relaxed your decided to be. laughing gas relaxed, or date rape relaxed?
OMG, YOU LOOK SO CUTE! I just have to wear that.
ReplyDeleteyou're such a trendsetter
xoxoxox!!!1!
uhhhhhh.
ReplyDeletei was going to comment, but then my sleep-aid kicked in.
shit.
basically, i was going to say LOL but more cleverly.
Ha ha ha! Those hair covers are going to be all the rage come rainy April!
ReplyDeleteBut also, OW! And I hope that bandage comes off soon.
Ohhhh, I love a good daily fashion post!!
ReplyDeleteHope the finger isn't too painful!
You forgot to mention the uber fashionable handbag we provide all of our patients in the form of a white plastic bag with a drawstring tie! Super luxurious and chic! Hope you are feeling well, ma dear. Have a good weekend and get some rest.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha oh man, you poor thing Caitlin! So glad this is all just about over for you... In a few days you'll be good as new! I really hate hospitals. Stay away from cactus from now on... FAR far away!
ReplyDeleteoh man, those socks kinda rock right? jonas would consider those the perfect "running/sliding on hardwood floor" kinda socks!
ReplyDeleteglad all went well, you look fabulous ;) sorry this was your welcome to the west.
Did you get to keep the socks? I want some.
ReplyDeleteI still have my hospital socks from when I had Judah :-)
ReplyDeleteThose socks are a great consolation prize! Glad your surgery is over and that your cactus baby is gone
ReplyDeleteHaha, you're stylin'! Hope your finger is better!
ReplyDeleteHaha, you're stylin'! Hope your finger is better!
ReplyDeleteWell at least you're in good spirits about all of this! You kinda have to laugh your way through these kinds of things in order to keep your sanity. Hope you're back to typing and ass-wiping normally soon! Ha!
ReplyDeleteI need to get a pair of those socks for at home. Then life would be complete.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious and I am sorry. I've been there and it's no fun!
ReplyDelete