Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Some Letters I've Been Meaning to Write IV

Oh, yeah, I made a graphic for this...no big deal.

Dear Mr. Depression and Mrs. Anxiety,

Jesus, this has been a rough couple of days.  I thought I had you largely under control but you're starting to rear your ugly little heads again.  I would appreciate it if you would go back from whence you came and we can all continue on with our separate lives.


Dear Avis,
Dear god I hate you and you have horrible customer service. The only reason I patronize you at all is because of my elevated status. Thank you, however, for giving me a Ford Escape, which I actually love, and for the Satellite Radio.  If you had "upgraded" me yet again to a Dodge Charger I was going to drive it straight into a wall.  Then set fire to it.

Dear Readers,

Thank you for your really sweet comments on my last post.  It helps knowing that I didn't scare anybody away and that I have such supportive people reading this here interblag.  1000 blog points to you all!


Dear Robbie,

Sorry for being so crazy these last few days.  Thank you for calling back last night to tell me you laughed at the "Touchdown" caption on my post about being alone...thinking about it made me laugh too and instantly the world was right again.


Dear 90s on 9 XM Radio Station,

I really do love you.  The last couple of days I've been able to listen to "Baby Got Back," "Ants Marching," "You Oughta Know," "Can't Touch This," and "Escapade."  You've truly revived my fondness for the 90s and their characteristic music.  I find myself rarely moving up to 20s on 10 or down to 80s on 8 because you so fabulously blare out my childhood and that is awesome.


Dear Brain,

Thank you for remembering all the words to most of the above songs.  Spot on.


Dear Whatever Song I'm Listening To on the Radio While Driving,

I really like it when you end just as I'm pulling into my desination and stopping.  I feel like I'm in a movie or a music video starring ME.  Though I'm not sure I'd want to be in a movie where my character is happily driving along to "Baby Got Back."


Dear Caprese,

I could sing your praises day and night.  How did I not realize what an easy travel/hotel meal opportunity you present? After eating you for dinner two nights in a row (with pesto last night!) I think I am truly, deeply in love.


Dear Bruins,

Please win the Stanley Cup in the one year out of the last 25 that I have actually cared about things like this.


Dear Cypress,

Thanks for cuddling with me in bed while Rob was gone, and for letting me cry while cuddling you before I left for New York.  I know you were concerned about my well-being when I dropped you off at daycare because for the first time in awhile you looked back at me instead of barreling into the play area like a mongoose, but that might've been because I used the word "fuck" in the car and you thought I was mad at you.


Dear Representative Anthony Weiner,

Lying about sending a picture of your weiner? Really? You've made this all far too easy, the jokes aren't even funny. Try for some subtlety next time.


Dear Blog Giveaways,

I've only ever won one blog giveaway (Hi Gluten Hates Me!) but I'd like to win another one please. Please not-so-randomly select my number. I love you long time.




  1. You can sign my name with yours under anxiety's letter, and blog giveaway's letter too. A little less of the first, and a little more of the latter would be just peachy!

  2. i have a possible cure for the latter. :) check it out! i'm giving away a necklace from shabby apple.

  3. Oh I love this style of post..I may have to copy sometime...and Stanley Cup!?! I LOVE HOCKEY! Go Avalanche though :) Ohhh Bruins. And I have won 1 giveaway before...and I have one going on...and it's not like a super big one so maybe you could win? If you did the extra entries hehe? I don't know, try it?

    Ashley Sloan, Check out my hat giveaway :)


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