Can you really call them conversations? I mean doesn't the "co" imply that it's two-sided? Would it be universations? Monoversations? What do you call it when you're blathering incoherently to an animal who doesn't understand your language outside of "walk," "outside," or "food"?
Anyway, if you had found yourself as a fly on my life the last few days, here are quite honestly some of the "co"nversations you would've heard. Sadly I am not exaggerating these even a little bit.
Note: if you see any names you don't recognize, they are just Cypress's nicknames, of which she has many.
"Alright Dids, how about this: I'll take you for a walk now and then we can both take a nap! That way I don't have to worry for the next hour that Rob's going to get called out.*"
"Oh, let's check the website and their Twitter first to see if any fires have been reported."
"Scrandles, you're such a good dog. Well, sometimes. Not always, but sometimes."
"Yay! Leash time! It's leash time!"
"Why do you eat shit?! You eat shit, you feel like shit, how have you not grasped that concept?"
"Did you have fun playing with Rusty and Treya** today? I bet you didn't like when they ran into the house and started sniffing your things and drinking your water."
"Wow, you haven't moved since I left! Someone's a lazy Maisie today."
"Cypress, don't watch me when I pee. It's weird."
"You better watch out, I'm about to move the coffee table."
"Hey, I have an idea, let's go to the dog park!"
"Man Dids, I really hope your Ruby doesn't get called out today. I think I'll end up eating cheese for dinner."
Anyone want to come over now? Please?
*Fun fact: most wildfires begin right around 4-6pm. Because of that, this is prime Rob-getting-called-out time, so I jump at every text or phone call. If it's a weekend I try to nap so I can sleep through it without worrying too much.
**Rusty and Treya are two beasties that belong to one of my new fire-wife-friends. It's rare for another dog to come into our house so Cypress was nothing if not perturbed (don't worry, she quickly got over it).