Even during last summer, when he had a research assistant job, I was working long hours and if he came home early enough he'd still make dinner and get a lot of the chores done.
For my part, I have always felt anxious about housework, especially if Rob's doing it. It's not like I think that housework is solely my responsibility as a bona fide lady--because it isn't--but I've always had a sneaking suspicion that Rob didn't think our arrangement was fair. I was terrified that it actually wasn't fair and that I was unknowingly taking advantage of his awesomeness. Despite the fact that he never questioned the arrangement and despite the fact that I paid all the bills, I was still terrified that I was simply a terrible wife.
Anyway before Rob started working we talked about how things would change. For the foreseeable future I'll be working from home, which means by default housework will fall to me. I was really nervous at first because, and this has taken me awhile to admit and accept, I am super lazy. Before Rob started working a task like washing dishes was almost physically painful for me.
But I've been a sort-of "housewife" for five days now, and I have to say that I kind of like it.
In between working--which takes up a lot of my time for obvious reasons--I've been cleaning, walking and feeding Cypress, going shopping, and doing whatever miscellaneous errands may need doing. As silly as it is to admit I like when Rob gets home and the house is clean and dinner is almost ready, not because I'm a woman and it's my duty, but because I just like having the ability to keep the house organized on top of getting my normal work done. I like that yesterday I decided to clean our sheets and make the bed on a work break, and that Rob was so excited when he got home and saw that I'd done it. I suppose I like seeing the concrete benefit of the work I do around the house during the day, since the benefits that come from doing my job and paying bills are often external and less tangible, if that makes any sense at all.
I guess my point is that this whole process is helping me to see the give and take of marriage and how important it is to view marriage as a partnership. At this point I'm really hoping that I will keep up with writing about this as my role in our mini-family morphs and changes with Rob's employment choice, since his new job is such that it will likely dictate most of what I do in the coming years.
I wish you all a happy Friday and a lovely weekend!
Both photos are from Anne Taintor.