Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Your Questions Answered Part II: Negativity and Blogging

Today's question comes from Katie!

I love how you're so honest in your blog. It's something I struggle with, so I just end up posting loads of pictures, and not saying much at all for fear of being judged harshly. Do you ever worry about being judged or are you fairly anonymous?


I've always been particularly sensitive to criticism in all areas of my life, whether it be my writing, how I do my job, or how I talk to other people.  The slightest negative word can have me in tears or questioning myself or wanting to curl into a ball to stop the racing thoughts.

I am indeed extremely honest about what I go through on a daily basis on my blog.  I am a very open person, both in real life and here, and I am pretty willing to talk about just about everything because I want my blog to be an accurate reflection of who I am.  I won't lie that I grow tired of blogs that never show any flaws or negativity, because above all I like meeting people and people are not perfect or always positive.  I think my honesty gives my blog extra depth and makes it--hopefully--that much more interesting to read. My readers can correct me on that if they so wish. :)

As you said, Katie, this opens me up to criticism because I am more vulnerable.  But along with being vulnerable, I am also more genuine. I think it is because of this that my experience on my blog has been anything but negative.  If anything, my posts about anxiety, depression, and finding my own self-worth get more views and more in-depth comments than my every-day-happenings type posts.  In fact, I don't think I have received a single negative comment on any of my more "vulnerable" posts.  And indeed, writing honest posts about PTSD or anxiety or depression help to make this blog a joy and a release rather than one more way to hide my true self behind false positivity.  I don't want it to ever become a chore in that way.

I think that above all, people want to read and they want to relate.  We all want to know that what we feel is normal and that others are experiencing what we may be. If I receive any negativity down the line, I'm sure it will hurt and I'm sure I will question myself.  But at the end of the day, I will be happier that I put myself out there than if I had hidden who I am and what I think.

Do you find it easy to be yourself on your blog?

14 comments:

  1. good post. when i am happy, i find it really easy to be myself, but when i am feeling sad, i tend to avoid posting as i don't want to make my blog negative.. but sometimes i wish i could post.. but feel like it would be a drag for other people listening to me complain, now that i have more readers.. hehe. it was okay when no one was reading :P

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  2. I'm still inbetween about it being easy to be myself on the blog. There are some days when I want to post about my in-laws and ask for suggestions, but she reads it. So I just ask Brett. Ha. Other than that, I do feel the need to post more vulnerable/open/real posts...not because I should but because I feel like that I'm pretty open in real life and I may as well bring it to the online world. Thanks Caitlin for another great post...<3

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  3. That's true, I find honesty and some negativity far more genuine than constant happiness. I'm usually always for over-share and do it in my normal 'offline' life. I should let it spill more into my blog. Hopefully people will be kind ;)

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  4. Love this post. I am trying to find the balance between enough realness and too much... still not sure who reads my blog or who WILL read my blog someday. :) I guess I need to just work on my paranoia and always be smart about what I write. :) Sea Marie

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  5. I must be the most true blogger I know with all the negativity and flaws I lay out on my blog. LOL! I think the fact that my blog is anonymous really helps me open up and be my true self. Being a MilSpouse it's hard to have true friendships in the brief moments you spend living somewhere, so I feel like I'm way more reserved and fake positive in my real life. Kudos to you for opening up in such a vulnerable way. That takes major guts, woman!

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  6. Great post. I love how you can be so open about you feelings, which is why us readers love your blog! :)

    Just wondering though, were there any times when you feel that other people's judgments and probing questions that actually persist (if they come in large volumes at a time) will make it un-worthwhile to say certain things? There are some bloggers who are famous for being controversial, and they have admitted that sometimes, they actually regret being overly honest because the reaction they received had repercussions that were wayyy out of hand. Just wondering, what do you think about that?

    Belly B :)

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  7. You know me - honest as could be. It's the only way blogging works for me. I've tried skimming to surface to protect myself, but I ended up miserable and feeling like I wasn't contributing anything worth while to my blog. It's one of the many reasons I get along with you so well, too. :]

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  8. I love how honest you are on your blog! I'm still working on it, because I have a lot of trouble opening myself up that way to strangers, and even to some people who I know that may come across my little space on the internet. That's why I don't usually share my posts on Twitter, Facebook and that kind of thing, because it unnerves me to think of who might be reading my work. Hopefully with time, it'll get easier for me, but for now I still need a private space to write (AKA pen to paper, old school!)

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  9. am i completely honest on my blog? yes, and no. whatever i write is all me, but sometimes i feel like i have to censor certain issues because of family who read. i also have 7 tattoos, four of which are highly visible, but i go out of my way to cover them because i have family who find them offensive. (ever notice how my left arm is always covered if i have anything sleeveless on?) yeah, they make a super big deal out of it.

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  10. Good words of wisdom!!!! I think I am pretty much honest. Sometimes I don't talk about super personal things like...awkward ones that people I know may read...sometimes it is more awkward for some random dude at your church to read it than for a girl you don't know, do you know what I mean? Like when we are going to start having kids or those kinds of things... Also I don't talk about certain things because of confidentiality agreements. Like when I worked at a psychiatric treatment center I always had CRAZY things happen and I would def want to talk about them but I just couldn't that much because of laws and agreements!!!

    Ashley Sloan

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  11. your super-duper honest blog is such a treasure!

    As for the negative feedback, the latest issue of 'Psychology Today' talks about extremely sensitive people, and it really it home with me-- I think it might speak to you, too. If you find yourself near a magazine rack in the next month, you might want to read the article called "Sense & Sensitivity" : ) It made me feel less weird about letting the "slightest negative word have me in tears or questioning myself or wanting to curl into a ball to stop the racing thoughts."

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  12. I started following your blog because of your honesty in what you write about. It's always nice to focus on positive things, but sometimes life just isn't positive, or it doesn't feel like it is, and i think, as women, the blog community is a healthy place we can go, not only to release our problems by way of the written word, but also to find comfort in the fact that we are not alone. Many of your posts have given me comfort in just that: knowing I'm not the only one with certain struggles in life. I'm not crazy or abnormal. So thank you for your honesty, and for your wise insight on the topics closest to your heart.

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  13. I do find it easy to be myself, but always try and maintain a sarcastic or joking tone when I talk about serious-ish issues. I am always aware of who might read what I'm writing. It's more like...telling little stories, which I do when I meet strangers anyway. I'd totally tell them about the bitch triangle the first time I met somebody. (You know what I'm talking about) I guess I keep it on that superficial level though. but that's fine.

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  14. Brilliant post and very well said.

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