I'll go ahead and issue what the kids call a "trigger warning" here--if you don't like open, frank discussions about bodily functions it might behoove you to move on to the next blog in your reader right now. I promise I won't be hurt.
I read an article on xoJane a week or so ago entitled "How Gross Are You Around Your Significant Other" which is basically about exactly what you'd expect it to be about. I left a pretty honest comment about just how gross Rob and I are around each other and got a surprisingly high number of Disqus "likes," which by the way I think qualifies me for a Nobel Peace Prize, or something.
Anyway, some of the other comments showed me just how (apparently) strange it is for ladies to be full-on gross in front of their significant others. It surprised me because after almost 10 years together Rob and I are pretty damn open.
And since I have absolutely no shame, I figured I'd share the magic with you guys as well. I've already lost 3 followers this week so why not go for gold, right?
Here we are:
1. Rob and I have both peed the bed while the other was sleeping in it on two separate occasions. Mine was less forgivable because it was mostly due to drunkenness.
2. When Rob was in the Army I used to help him pop his foot blisters.
3. Before I got diagnosed with celiac disease I had some pretty awful stomach aches and some pretty terrible gas. Rob has experienced second-hand quite a few man-sized farts from me and somehow still wants to be married to me.
4. We both pee with the door open. Just happens that way.
5. Because my husband's choice in jobs, I have often hugged him while he is wearing clothes that have not been laundered in a month or more.
6. Also because of my husband's choice in jobs, he finds himself eating a lot of MREs, which means a pretty disgusting transition period to regular food when he comes home.
7. I was put on a new medication recently that caused me to have, erm, stomach issues. We had to run errands one day and I basically "wrecked" about 5 bathrooms around town. Then described it to him in detail.
Alright ladies, spill it. Just how gross are you around your significant other?