I know I've posted huge posts about my various Arizona adventures, but truthfully I miss writing posts about what I'm thinking and feeling, especially because I've been having some pretty strong emotions lately and have been doing some little fun things here and there that don't really require a whole post. So here are a few bits and pieces from my last week to give a bit of an update:
1. Last week I went out to eat with Michelle and her husband Chad. I've been reading Michelle's blog for awhile so I was pretty excited to meet both her and Chad. In addition, we decided to do a giveaway from their shop, Funk Off!, so I'm trying out some of their products in preparation (spoiler alert: I love them so far!)! I was nervous about meeting them because, as you all probably could have predicted, I imagined that they would find me as awkward and obnoxious as I find myself. I had a great time though and I really hope we can hang out again before I leave in November!
2. So last week was rough. And I mean rough. I was running around all day long trying to figure out schedules, trainers, preparation, security, and databases and by the end of the day I felt like I was 100 years old. I seriously fell asleep every night at around 9. I was working 12-13 hours every day and it doesn't look like that will change any time soon. I didn't feel like myself all week long; I felt completely exhausted--physically, emotionally, and mentally. Combine that with the fact that Rob doesn't communicate particularly well over the phone and you have a pretty stressed-out Caitlin. Plus there was another frustrating bit of news that I won't go into here that just caused me to feel really off. My counselor is awesome and agreed to do a counseling session over IM which helped a lot. We talked about my tendency to micromanage and how I need to learn how to give up control of other peoples' actions. All I can do is the best job I can, control my own actions, and hope for the best.
3. I was quite proud of myself last week when I was having a particularly bad panic attack and managed to calm myself down all on my own. I woke up at 3 a.m. stressing out, and asked myself, "Is this an appropriate level of anxiety for the worst case scenario?" I knew the answer was no, so I again asked myself what situation the anxiety would be appropriate for. Since my only answer to that was death or natural disaster my mind calmed slightly and I was able to get another 12 minutes of sleep until my alarm went off. Yay, progress!
4. I bit the bullet and bought a Macbook Pro. My PC that I use for work literally FELL APART last week and for a bit was not even booting up, so I knew it was time for a new computer. I've been aching for a Mac and have only hesitated because the software I use for my work doesn't operate on Macs. I figured this was a stupid reason given the availability of Boot Camp and the like so I went for it. And I am extremely excited. I even had it sent to me here in Arizona so I didn't have to delay. Now I just need to build my savings back up...
I wish you all a wonderful week. An thanks, as always, for reading. Your comments always make me so happy even if I don't always (okay never) get to reply to them. If you attach your email to your account so I can reply by email I'll be much better, I promise. <3