So I'm an avid reader of Danielle's blog Sometimes Sweet, and for the past four weeks she has promoted a sort of interactive blog project in which fellow bloggers discuss ways to (you guessed it) better yourself. Along with this she posts three goals for the week that pertain to that particular topic. I haven't participated in earlier weeks because I'm lame, but this one, Week 4: Loving Yourself really stuck with me.
When I was younger I was always pretty skeletal. I had hips (damn, these hips) but my chest looked like a xylophone and my arms were like sticks. I got used to everyone calling me skinny, and so, when I went off anti-depressants and became an adult and gained about 20 pounds (into much healthier weight) it was a little shocking to say the least. I obsess over my love handles and my muffin top, and my hips, and my cellulite, and of course the spider veins that I see on my leg but that my husband just assures me is due to the translucence of my white skin.
But fact is, I know a lot of people that would kill to have some of the features I do. And some people I know feel that they are missing certain physical aspects of their womanhood due to cancer or other illness, and my griping comes into an entirely new perspective.
I have a hard time telling myself that I'm beautiful because of the flaws, and also reminding myself how crazy my husband is about me (and my love handles).
One of my summer goals is to start feeling better about myself, and I figure what's a better week to start that than my birthday week? So with that, I give you:
1. Schedule another Boudoir Shoot: I won't be able to do this this week most likely, since we'll be in Seattle (eee!) but I'd like to set a date. Call me crazy, but the first boudoir shoot I did (totally nude) bumped myself-esteem up significantly. Seeing myself in such beautiful poses, with all that I hate about myself out there in the open, really showed me how beautiful my body was. If you've never done this I highly recommend scheduling one with a photographer you trust - you'd be surprised how AWESOME it makes you feel.
2. Wear a Pretty Dress While Frolicking in Seattle: I've been avoiding wearing dresses around town because we aren't really a 'dressy' place here in Western Maine. But I'm hoping in Seattle I can feel all pretty in one of the new summer dresses I bought this year.
3. Make a List. I want to make a list of all the things I don't like about myself, cross out the negatives and add positives. I'm certain I can find something positive about everything (except maybe my feet, I hate my feet, but I will try dammit). I want to remind myself of these positives every day. As a part of this goal I will also not bemoan my flaws to my husband which I do semi-frequently in a shameless plea for validation. Robbie, you're off the hook for this week and hopefully forever. We'll see. :)