Things You Need to Know if We're Going to be BFFs

I saw this on Deanna's blog earlier today and since I'm husbandless for the next 3.75 days, I might as well make some new friends, right?

I'm sure that none of you all of you have read my blog and thought "what the hell is wrong with this girl how can I be her best friend right now?!" Well it's your lucky day, friends, because here are some things you need to know in order to be my BFFLDIKKAGEH.

1. I have a phobia of trains.  It's not like a full-on, can't leave my house phobia, but I have been known to structure my day around the train schedule to avoid coming to a crossing when it's passing. If I freak out at a train crossing or cry or gag, just accept that I'm one weird motherfucker and move on.

2. I tend to dive head-first into relationships and friendships. I tend to get uncomfortable topics out of the way and/or make disgusting jokes.  I've made some awesome friends by totally crossing boundaries from the get-go (here are a few examples).

3. Related to #2: I have a gross and offensive sense of humor, and I don't personally get offended all that easily.  I swear like a sailor (assuming it doesn't bug you, in which case I can tone it down, ha).

4. I am actually a total wuss.  I'm loathe to do something that could get me into trouble/yelled at/arrested.

5. I talk a lot. Probably too much. And I apologize for it a lot, especially when I've been drinking.

6. I speak Russian somehow more fluently when I drink (na zdorovya!).

7. I like to hang out with new friends pretty frequently if we're near each other.  So if you're more hands-off you might be annoyed by me.

8. Sometimes I'm really emotional and crazy.  It passes, and I don't usually subject new friends to it, but if you're my BFF you're probably going to see it.

9. I can't eat gluten, so if we're going out, I'm going to be pretty annoying. If we stay in and cook dinner I'll probably need to (rudely) get my food first to make sure my food isn't contaminated.  I promise I'm not being an asshole.

Your turn! Leave me a link in the comments if you do this too!