Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Things I Don't Like that Others Seem to Love

I got this idea from Holly's blog so if you have a second, go over and say hello to her and read her post.

1. Twilight - Before you accuse me of being unfair, please know that I have read several of the Twilight books (always borrowed, never paid for a single one) and have seen the majority of the movies, though admittedly with the intention of getting drunk with a Twilight drinking game.  As a former 13-year-old girl I understand the appeal, I really do.  But guys, they are just fucking awful.  The message (hang around and eventually a man will hand you an identity and a reason to live) is terrible, the writing is even more terrible ("Edward looked at her amorously with love."), the story-telling is abysmal.  I really hope if that my children like Twilight, they are also understanding of how neither Bella nor Edward are role models to follow.

2. Soda and Beer.  Since I was a kid, I've never been able to drink soda.  It physically hurts my mouth and throat and makes me physically sick.  This applies to beer and any other carbonated beverages.

3. Wine.  I want to like wine, guys.  I want to be classy, I really do.  I just don't.  It's not as if I can't handle the taste of alcohol; some of my best friends are martinis.  I just don't think rotten grapes make for a yummy beverage.

4. Flowy Clothing.  To be fair, I'm only basing the fact that everyone must love this on the fact that there's a ton of this shit at Target.  I try on these clothes and they just don't fucking fit.  Maybe it's because I'm small, with short hair, and I already have to make sure I look feminine if I don't want to be mistaken for a boy or a lesbian (both of which have happened).  The flowy shit totally obscures my shape and makes me look like a solid block of human. I see people wearing it and it looks great, so maybe this is just some sort of weird conspiracy to make me more self-conscious.

5. High Heels with Socks.  Add this to the "looks great on other people" list (seeing a theme much?).  I did this as a little girl and I guess I can't get behind it again for that reason.  The other problem is, as soon as I put socks on that cover my ankle bones, it looks like I have cankles.  I think my legs are just too stubby.

6. Make-up.  I am just plain not interested in make-up or nail polish.  My main place to buy either of those things is either Walmart or the supermarket, and I keep the same 3 pieces (eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, mascara) for literally years.  If my eyes weren't so squinty I wouldn't even bother with it, quite frankly.

7. Seafood.  People think that because I am from Maine we must sacrifice lobsters every full moon and devour their flesh, or eat them for Thanksgiving, or something. And everyone is always so shocked when I tell them that I never eat lobster. I hate all seafood with the small exception of canned tuna (and even then I only eat it with a shit-ton of mayonnaise and bread).  I hate the smell and the taste that stays in your mouth for days.

What do you not like that others do?

2 comments:

  1. I love this! I hate flowy clothes- I feel like I'm five years old again and playing dress-up. Also, you are the most right person ever about heels and socks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you think Twilight is bad Fifty Shades of Grey is worse, from a liteary stand point. The writer if from the UK but set the book in Seattl, yet they did no research as to the culture of the PacNW. I live in Oregon and there was much headdesking while reading the books. For example the main female lead goes to a bar with her hip customers and they order Bud Light. This would never happen. Ever. Not in the homeland of the microbreweries and beer snobbery. I almost threw my Nook out the window I was so frustrated because it shows as lack of research and effort. Which to me is a sign of a poor author.

    ReplyDelete

Go ahead and leave a comment! You know you want to.