Wednesday, July 15, 2009

On Honesty, Blogs, and Sofas

I was recently contemplating the psychology of honesty.

I’ve come across blog posts—and, indeed, have written my own—that ask for an “honest opinion” from their readers. I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I ask for an honest opinion on something like a blog post, I really want validation, pure and simple. I want to hear that my idea/situation/opinion is the best one EVER. If I read a comment that offers a side that I don’t really want to hear, I find myself feeling a wee bit put off, even while recognizing full well that I asked for an honest opinion. I’m admittedly an insecure girl and I like to be validated and feel justified in what I do. If I want an honest opinion, I’ll go to my mother, who is full of them, or Rob, who has a knack for telling me exactly what he thinks without sugar-coating it.

I’m not saying in any way that asking for honest opinions on your blog is a bad thing or that everyone craves validation like I do. Rather, I’m interested in the psychology of all of this and how you as fellow bloggers (blogesses?) feel about it.

I want your REAL honest opinions on this…do NOT worry about validating me. You know I mean it because I used RANDOM CAPITALIZATION. FER REALS.

Does anyone else do this, or do you really want honest opinions? Am I insane? Is it any different to ask for an honest opinion on your blog than it is in person? Is it easier to ask faceless people what they think?

Anyway, on to ridiculously exciting things…

Like our new COUCH!

I can’t tell you how EXCITING this was for me (and to a lesser extent, my darling fiancé). In May 2008, we bought a futon from Walmart so that we could have something for people to sit on when we entertain (which, admittedly, is rare). We put it together and were at least marginally happy with it until about six months ago. Turns out Walmart makes the cushions with a whopping one inch of polyurethane foam and the rest is COTTON BATTING. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the extremely complex physical characteristics of cotton batting, it gets flat. Annoyingly so. The futon structure is metal, so every time I sat on it I felt like the metal bars, hardly kept at bay by the paper towel-thin mattress, were doing their very best to go straight up my ass. My back (and ass) actually ACHED after sitting on it.

And before you ask, yes, I just spent a whole paragraph talking about my futon.

Anyway I mosied on over to the local (and ONLY) furniture store and found a lovely microfiber dark-brown couch for only $400. The cushions are all stuffed with foam so they’re at least somewhat more durable (and hopefully un “flat”-able). My only complaint is that the cushions are still somewhat stiff, which I’m hoping will be rectified by sitting my now happy ass, not to mention the respective asses of my fiance and my beast, down on them as much as possible.


  1. I love being criticized...seriously. I generally don't ask people for opinions because it feels like I'm begging. If they have an opinion, they should share it! But that's for another day. When I get criticized, or get an opinion that is opposite mine, or someone tells me how to improve, I feel good, because you know what? I can learn from that.

    This might sound weird, but I can't stand praise, it's not helpful. I probably sound vain in saying this, but if I do something well, I KNOW I did something well, I don't need others to tell me that I did it well. I like being acknowledged, sure, but I don't need to be showered in compliments.

    When I do something poorly, or wrong, or whatever, generally I did it poorly because I don't know how to do it right. Then I find it infinitely helpful for people to tell me how to do it better, so I don't repeat the mistake.

    Wow, longest comment ever? Anyway, you know what I'm saying?

  2. I'll give you my honest opinion that everytime you CAPITALIZE I picture you yelling. Which is funny when I'm reading a sentence and then picture you yelling that word and then go back to normal.

    As for opinions, I generally am too lazy to give mine. Much less alone an honest one/.

    Lyubliu tebya.

  3. I have wondered the same thing. I never want honesty. I don't think many women do, really. If a friend tells me what I think about something, honestly, I know she wants validation. If I think it's not quite right, I'll water down the praise so she can pick up on the hint, but I won't tell her.

    And if another blog asks for an honest opinion, I only give it if it's honestly good. If not, I keep mum. Besides, comments can be misconstrued easily; without tone of voice and body language it's hard to get the nuance across.

  4. i like honesty. i mean I can be a fairly fragile person (surprising no?) so I'm not saying that someones honesty might not cause me to curl up in the corner for a bit but sometimes its good. And if it doesnt break me and rather it angers me then at least I have something new to vent about! And I love me a vent.

    But I do know what you mean about validation, sometimes we all need some.


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