Featured on Texas Lovebirds

Today I'm over at Carly's blog, Texas Lovebirds, talking about what it's like to be married to a firefighter.  Click the picture below to check out what I have to say and to say hello!

Look What I Got!

Yesterday during our going-away festivities with our families my good friend Jess posted this amazing photo she made on my Facebook wall:




Isn't it amazing?!  I'm going to get it printed once we settle into the new house and hang it up proudly :)

I'm seriously so happy to have such awesome, thoughtful friends, and glad that blogging has allowed me to meet people I would not have known otherwise.

Hope you are all having a great weekend!

Today is a Good Day.

Today was just one of those days that make me smile.  For the first time in weeks, I feel relaxed and thankful and awesome, thanks to some of the amazing people I'm lucky enough to have in my life.

First of all, Nova and I are planning a pretty bad-ass guest post situation for tomorrow. Be ready.

Second, I went to therapy today to totally unload my brain of all the stress that's been building up these last few weeks.  I literally rambled for a straight hour about "Hoarders" and "Intervention," my fear of losing my job, some minor family issues, and of course, moving stress.  My therapist banned me from perusing Craigslist rentals until Monday, and as soon as she said it I felt a huge weight lifted off.  Funny how I respond so well to authority.

After therapy Rob and I drove to Auburn to drop off some of our unwanted furniture with Safe Voices, a local domestic violence shelter and advocacy group.  It felt good knowing that the stuff we don't want will potentially help a woman (or man) in a tough spot get back on their feet again and set up a new place to live.  I didn't even know that donating to a domestic violence group was an option, but I'm glad to know now.

I took Rob out to a restaurant in Lewiston called She Doesn't Like Guthries, which is a weird little artsy hipster oasis in the mill town aesthetic that dominates in Lewiston.  I had a yummy fiesta bowl (kind of like a burrito bowl at Chipotle) and a  smoothie, and Rob had a delicious burrito.   Expensive but totally worth it to have a little lunch date with my husband.

 

When I got home and checked the mail I found that I had a package from the AMAZING Deanna. As I opened it Rob said, "I think this girl has a crush on you." AND HE'S RIGHT.

First of all, she decorated the package with awesome stickers and semi-threatening messages.  Do that and you have my heart forever.

I also got two adorable necklaces from F21, and a valentine from the very famous Gage of Gage Says, and as we all know, he doesn't just give out valentines to anyone.  So, you know, be jealous.

The piece de resistance, though, was the note I got from Deanna, in which she promised me that the note had been "smothered in her breasts." Best friends? Check. Online girlfriends? Check.

This is why I love friends, both online and in real life.  Deanna, you are amazing.

Later tonight our awesome landlords are taking us out for a farewell dinner.  I'm sure after that we'll snuggle on the couch (Rob and I, not our landlords), watch the Thursday night NBC lineup, and maybe even have a few drinks.

Plus this weekend we're having a going away party with our parents! A wonderful ending to the week.

How has your day been?

Guest Post: Kimi Makes White Chocolate Cherry Shortbreads

While Rob and I are on vacation in Florida I thought I'd share some awesome blog writers with you.  This is my first guest post extravaganza so I hope you enjoy!  Today's post is from Kimi of lovely magic stars!  Kimi is a pretty cool cat and has shared some delicious-looking cookies with you below.  I'm already trying to work out a way to make them gluten-free. :)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

heyo! it is kimi from lovely magic stars. i am so excited to be guest blogging on caitlin's super duper awesome blog!

last week, i attended an annual cookie party. if you don't know what a cookie party is...it is a party were you make a certain amount of cookies - take them to the party and come home with more cookies than can be eaten in ANY given time!

i made 2 different types. first one's were supposed be buckeyes, but i mangled them and they ended up being peanut butter balls with chocolate splattered across them. it is all the same in your mouth right? :)

the second were better home and garden's white chocolate cherry shortbread's. i didn't realize how much work these cookies were going to be and trying to make them on the friday before the party was probably the most slacker idea! but they turned out so pretty and delicious!

white chocolate cherry shortbread

ingredients1/2 cup maraschino cherries, drained and finely chopped2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour1/2 cup sugar1 cup cold butter12 ounces white chocolate baking squares with cocoa butter, finely chopped1/2 teaspoon almond extract2 drops red food coloring (optional)2 teaspoons shorteningWhite nonpareils and/or red edible glitter (optional)

 directions
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Spread cherries on paper towels to drain well.2. In a large bowl, combine flour and sugar. Using a pastry blender, cut in the butter until mixture resembles fine crumbs. Stir in drained cherries and 4 ounces (2/3 cup) of the chopped chocolate. Stir in almond extract and, if desired, food coloring. Knead mixture until it forms a smooth ball.3. Shape dough into 3/4-inch balls. Place balls 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Using the bottom of a drinking glass dipped in sugar, flatten balls to 1-1/2-inch rounds.4. Bake in preheated oven for 10 to 12 minutes or until centers are set. Cool for 1 minute on cookie sheet. Transfer cookies to a wire rack and let cool.5. In a small saucepan, combine remaining 8 ounces white chocolate and the shortening. Cook and stir over low heat until melted. Dip half of each cookie into chocolate, allowing excess to drip off. If desired, roll dipped edge in nonpareils and/or edible glitter. Place cookies on waxed paper until chocolate is set. Makes about 60.
these are my stinker doggies kai and lucy who wait for anything to drop on the floor when i am cooking...

these are the final result! they didn't turn out as round as bhg's...but i think those are fake anyway!

hope you enjoy them and hope you stop by my blog to say hi!!

Sponsors, Features & Things

Did you notice my brand new sponsors bar on the right-hand side? I keep looking at it because it is just so lovely.

I'm shooting a wedding today and it's my last weekend in Maine for a month, so I might be kind of quiet.  I wanted to let you guys know that our love story is being featured on Danfredo Rivera's blog today and that you should go check it out now!  Danielle is one of my sponsors as well, and she's awesome, so you probably should read her blog regardless of whether I'm on it or not.

I hope you all have an amazing weekend, and happy October!

So...This Happened.

So over the last few days I've been positively aching for a tattoo.  I've never had that feeling before of really wanting to experience it again, watch it heel, etc.  Guys, I even had a dream that I had the word WIDTH tattooed on my arm below my half-sleeve.  It was so real that I actually checked my arm when I woke up, no lie.

I've been wanting a traditional anchor for some time.  It has a pretty strong meaning, but it's one I'd rather keep to myself for now.  Anyway I found this original Sailor Jerry design online and fell in love.  Adam managed to squeeze me in yesterday (it just so happens an appointment I had was cancelled anyway) and this is the final result.  I assume you can see that this is on my tricep but if not, there it is.

Anyway I haven't been totally present on blogs the last few days since I've been immersed in PowerPoint presentations and photo editing.  I'll write a TILT post later today, just wanted to let you all know that I'm alive. And freshly tattooed.

Vlog: It's the Little Things, v.2

I'm linking up once again with Lindsay of From the Aisle to Aloha this week for her "It's the Little Things" series.  If you missed it last week, this lovely little series invites bloggers to chronicle little things in the week that make us feel happy or grateful. 

Just like last week, I'm doing a vlog, and I'm sure you all are so excited about it.  In this vlog I talk about matryoshkas, gross dogs, hiking, and brownie sundaes.  Behold:

I would like to thank YouTube for picking the most awkward still in the entire video.

And now, the photographic evidence:

Sundae instead of birthday cake! There's a yummy GF brownie underneath all that.



Birthday girl!



Yayyy TOMS!

Awesome his and her shower drawings! See our other shower crayon post here.

Lots of fun matryoshka things! Thanks hipsters!

Find the glasses here.

Find the lunchbag here.

Find the actual doll here.

Make sure to go check out Lindsay's blog and the rest of the link-ups here!

Have a great weekend, all!  Rob and I are off to Maine's biggest island for some camping.  We're hoping to leave the fly off of the tent and snuggle under the stars. :)

In Defense of Social Media

I realized the other day that the blogosphere--at least the niche that I find myself in, anyway--is a lot like summer camp for the following reasons:

1. You spend most of your time around other girls.

2. When one person catches something, everyone catches something.

The "something" in my metaphor is not a cold or your period because your cycles sync up (I was a camper and a counselor at summer camp for years, it happens), but rather ideas, trends, thoughts, and feelings. And vintage clothes, but that's not really pertinent here.

I've noticed lately that a lot of bloggers that I subscribe to are talking about Internet detox, the stressful aspects of social networking, and self-doubt when it comes to blogs.  In fact, this is hardly a recent phenomenon--it seems like as far back as I can remember bloggers have been blogging and tweeting about how stressful it is to keep blogging and tweetin, or completely eliminating accounts to avoid absent-minded surfing.  

It's something that I have never really been able to fully relate to.

I am on the internet a lot.  My job requires me to be on a computer for the entire 10-12 hours I'm usually working.  As a result I usually have about 4 tabs open with Bloglovin, Twitter, my blog, and maybe Facebook. Even after work when Rob and I are sitting around watching TV we're usually on our computers--not avoiding each other, but sharing and communicating while we share and communicate with others.

A few weeks ago I was feeling kind of stressed about various things in my life and my therapist suggested that some of the stress might be coming from interactions with people on Facebook.  So at her suggestion, I gave it up for a week.  During that week I realized that there were a lot of things about Facebook I really enjoyed (getting to communicate with people I can't usually talk to easily, planning get-togethers) and that the source of all my stress came from the fact that I lacked the self-control to block or avoid those of my "friends" with toxic statuses or stressful interactions.  Knowing full well that viewing their profiles could or would upset me, I still stalked their profiles and gave them the power to stress me out.  I also realized that the benefits of social networking in this case far outweighed the probability of it stressing me out or upsetting me. 

To me the internet, like anything else, isn't all or nothing.  When I want to use the internet and tweet and blog, I do. When I don't want to, I don't.  It's a big part of my life, but it's not my life. And if I stopped enjoying it, it's something that I could easily not do. Honestly, I think completely deleting an account or refusing to tweet or blog because I feel like I'm doing something wrong only gives it even greater control over me and my actions.  Just like with anything in life, social media in moderation isn't in and of itself toxic;  it's up to each of us to manage the power it has in our lives, whether that power be for good or for evil.

And isn't this true of "real" life, too? We don't have to completely avoid social interaction simply because these toxic influences exist, and  it's up to each of us to take the initiative to clear our lives of toxic influences and friendships.

I hope, as usual, that nobody takes this as offensive.  I understand that people have a variety of reasons for choosing to abstain from social networking, from crazy family members (I've had my share) to privacy concerns;  I only sought to explain why I personally enjoy social networking  and choose not to abstain, rather than to pass any judgement on any of my wonderful readers or to suggest that bloggers shouldn't write about these feelings. I pride myself on being pretty honest on here and I thought I would throw in my two cents on this particular issue.

I hope you all are having a great Labor Day weekend so far.  Get out and enjoy the fresh air, but don't feel too guilty for catching up on blogs, tweets, and Facebook!

I have awesome blog friends!

It must be said.

Yesterday I received a lovely little package from Jessica over at TART with a friendship bracelet inside:

If you didn't notice, she even customized it to match my blog! It even came in a lovely pouch and a box with leopard-print duct tape! How awesome is that?

If you haven't checked out Jess's blog, you should do so right now.  Hers was one of the first blogs I totally stalked started reading when I restarted blogging seriously a few months ago and I still adore it, and the lady behind it!

I have to say that this is one of the many reasons blogging makes me so happy--meeting kind and lovely people that I may not otherwise have known.

I hope you all have a marvelous Friday!

*Please forgive my chicken-skin arm and my baby wrists.  Fall has finally hit here with 50 degree temperatures and needless to say, I'm chilly.

Your Questions Answered Part II: Negativity and Blogging

Today's question comes from Katie!

I love how you're so honest in your blog. It's something I struggle with, so I just end up posting loads of pictures, and not saying much at all for fear of being judged harshly. Do you ever worry about being judged or are you fairly anonymous?


I've always been particularly sensitive to criticism in all areas of my life, whether it be my writing, how I do my job, or how I talk to other people.  The slightest negative word can have me in tears or questioning myself or wanting to curl into a ball to stop the racing thoughts.

I am indeed extremely honest about what I go through on a daily basis on my blog.  I am a very open person, both in real life and here, and I am pretty willing to talk about just about everything because I want my blog to be an accurate reflection of who I am.  I won't lie that I grow tired of blogs that never show any flaws or negativity, because above all I like meeting people and people are not perfect or always positive.  I think my honesty gives my blog extra depth and makes it--hopefully--that much more interesting to read. My readers can correct me on that if they so wish. :)

As you said, Katie, this opens me up to criticism because I am more vulnerable.  But along with being vulnerable, I am also more genuine. I think it is because of this that my experience on my blog has been anything but negative.  If anything, my posts about anxiety, depression, and finding my own self-worth get more views and more in-depth comments than my every-day-happenings type posts.  In fact, I don't think I have received a single negative comment on any of my more "vulnerable" posts.  And indeed, writing honest posts about PTSD or anxiety or depression help to make this blog a joy and a release rather than one more way to hide my true self behind false positivity.  I don't want it to ever become a chore in that way.

I think that above all, people want to read and they want to relate.  We all want to know that what we feel is normal and that others are experiencing what we may be. If I receive any negativity down the line, I'm sure it will hurt and I'm sure I will question myself.  But at the end of the day, I will be happier that I put myself out there than if I had hidden who I am and what I think.

Do you find it easy to be yourself on your blog?

Things I Love Thursday

I know you are all aware of my recent matryoshka addiction. Isn't this ring adorable?

Do you eat gluten-free and miss cake pops? Check out these "cake pops" made with BANANA slices!

The "Father of the Bride" house is for sale! Only $1.35 million! Anyone want to go splitsies?

Pride comes in all ages :)

REAL super-dramatic breakup letter read out loud. So freaking hilarious.

UM, "deviled eggs" made with Cadbury eggs and yellow buttercream and red "paprika"sprinkles?!

YES PLEASE.

I saw this sign on a blog earlier this week (can't remember which, I'm sorry!) and I just fell in love with it.

Found this via Danielle's blog - "When I Grow Up I'm Going to Be an Old Woman." Very inspiring, especially for this particular time in my life.

Even if we don't live in Maine when we have children, said children will have this rocking moose from Ikea rather than a boring old horse.

I found this post on Danielle (sublimelite)'s blog about being yourself and blogging what you love really inspiring.

Love this Oatmeal article about Smartphones.

I think it's so exciting that two awesome blog-ladies, Maryam and Violet, both had their babies within a week or so of each other! Congrats ladies!

Some blogs I'm loving at the moment: The Franglais Diaries, Srsly Liz, and The Veda House.

Things I Love Thursday

It's that time again, ladies and germs.

I love that my husband was pictured on the homepage of the college he goes to.

We're relatively sure they chose him because he has tattoos. 

5 Things They Never Told Us - an article about becoming an adult and the unexpected trials and tribulations.  It's written really well and definitely made me think.

"Jersey Shore" with British Accents - a bunch of guys reading actual lines from "The Jersey Shore" in the style of Oscar Wilde.

40 Things That Will Make You Feel Old - they most certainly did.  Thanks to Kaelah for this.

A Mother's Journey - photographic essay following a mother whose son is diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.  Make sure to read the captions, absolutely heartbreaking.

Despite not being religious personally, I always enjoy reading The Brick Testament - Bible stories depicted through Lego men.

Would anyone like to buy me one of these awesome initial necklaces?

I can't seem to stop this dress-buying habit I have developed over the last few months. This dress had great reviews on Modcloth, but we'll see if it's yet another return.

I bought this journal on Amazon - it asks one question a day for a year, then you start all over again the next year and add new answers. There are enough spaces for 5 years of question-answering.  My lovely blog-friend Amber may be participating in this with me too, all the way from Texas!

49-year-old Twilight fan gets HUGE back piece with Twilight actors on it. I don't mean to judge other people's tattoos but I'm going to go ahead and say this is a wee bit ridiculous.  Could be because I hate Twilight.

I absolutely love this Jersey Knit Bracelet tutorial from V and Co - I want to go make these now! (Thanks Holly!)

I really enjoyed this post by Kaelah, "The Power of X," an eloquent response to an article suggesting that girls who like "girly" things like cupcakes and rainbows and puppies are selling themselves short as women. 

You Are Not a Photographer - a blog that chronicles the "fauxtogs" that many of us encounter in our day-to-day lives (you know, the ones that selectively color the crap out of their photos, or shoot only in auto-mode and post everything they ever shoot).  By sharing this I am not trying to suggest that I'm an amazing photographer, just that I don't totally suck and here's proof.

Please don't hate me parents, but I love this blog - STFU Parents.  This Tumblr pokes fun at parents who are extremely obnoxious about their kids on Facebook.  My favorites are the "Mommyjackings" ("You post a status about how your kid can count to ten? Let me comment to tell you that mine was counting and reading before conception." etc.). Before you accuse me of being mean to parents, check this site out.  Some of these women and men post pictures of their children's feces. None of the parents I know that read this blog are remotely as annoying.

Some blogs I'm really enjoying: I love you to the moon, Mowenackie, novarella, and What? Mermaids? - three very lovely ladies. :)

Hope you all have an amazing Thursday!

Come on in to my Inferiority Complex

Those of you who have stuck around this blog for awhile know my struggles with depression, anxiety, and an inferiority complex in regards to...well, just about everything. I constantly compare myself to others' marriages, tattoos, appearances, lives--indeed, just about anything you could think of. As you can imagine this is not a particularly healthy exercise and means that I often find myself feeling miserable and hopeless.

One of the downsides to becoming more active in the blogging community is that it gives me ample opportunity to scrutinize everyone else's lives and compare them to my own.*   I start to admire another blogger's tattoos and may start to wonder if my tattoos meet the same standard. I lust after the long, beautiful (sometimes blue - so awesome) hair that so many bloggers have. I bemoan the fact that my crafting skills are slightly below the level of a sight-impaired three-toed sloth.  I worry about the fact that my blog lacks a "niche." If my blog posts don't receive comments, or not many people view my blog in a day, or if I write multiple posts in a short period of time (worrying about that now) I obsess over how horrible my writing must be or what an ineffective blogger I am, especially in comparison to all those AWESOME bloggers who kick blog ass on a daily basis.  Truly, for me, these are all real and justifable reasons to feel down and, you guessed it, inferior.

Danielle from Sometimes Sweet shared an article last week that explains how social media actually makes us feel more isolated because of this tendency to endlessly compare ourselves. Indeed, as we tend to primarily show the best of us online, it means that we are constantly aware of how we can't stack up against all the absolutely "perfect" people around us.  We know that we aren't perfect, that our hair doesn't always fall in the right place and sometimes we yell at our significant others for tripping over a rug or giving off too much body heat in bed, but because we don't always read about this happening to others it's easy to assume it's just us, and it's probably something we're doing wrong.

This isn't to say that any of these bloggers who I imagine probably walk on water ever try to promote the idea that they are flawless.  But somehow, the flaws that others do put on display seem to make them even more endearing because, and maybe this is just me, their flaws just don't seem as real and obvious as my own. Their flaws seem (to me) to come from being too awesome and too beautiful. 

One thing I admire about myself is my ability to be incredibly self-aware about the thoughts I have on a daily basis.  I know for a fact that everything described above, things I think and feel very acutely on a daily basis, have no basis in reality.  I know for a fact that a lot, if not most, bloggers and people in real life have the same issues with inferiority and insecurity that I do.  I know that my tattoos, photography, appearance, life, marriage have no bearing on anyone else's, and vice versa. 

In short, I know that I shouldn't live my life in the context of anyone else's life. I, and really all of us, need to learn to live our own lives free of these constraints.  Because I have learned that no matter how much I compare myself to someone else, I will never stack up.    And if I continue to compare something as trivial as my blog to others', I will quickly burn out on it, and who wants that?  Writing and connecting with people is awesome, and it's so cool that I get the opportunity to participate.  Why make it into a chore?

Am I alone in these feelings? Totally fine if I am, I'm used to being the crazy one.

To end on a lighter note:

Happy Friday!

*I wanted to say in this footnote that I compared myself to other people long before social networking was around...it just makes it easier to do so when you're around more numerous and diverse types of people.  Totally awesome to be able to communicate with amazing people worldwide, but if you're anxious or depressed it opens up a whole new world in a completely different way.

Featured on She Got Married!

A month or so ago I read my friend's feature on Emma's blog, She Got Married.  Emma's awesome and I love reading her blog, especially all her great meal plans and ideas! 

I decided to share some information about me and Rob and our marriage, as well as some pictures of us, and today our story got posted!  Go check it out and follow her blog, she is lovely!