Showing posts with label answers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label answers. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Q&A Vlog, #2
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Q&A Vlog #1
This is a little long so I apologize for wasting 12 minutes of your life.
Here I am answering a few of the questions you so graciously posed to me!
I feel like I look really ugly in this in a really weird, weird way.
Here I am answering a few of the questions you so graciously posed to me!
I feel like I look really ugly in this in a really weird, weird way.
Happy weekend, all!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Your Questions Answered Part VIII: Some Final Thoughts
This last series of questions comes from Ryan at This Must Be the Place.
1. Any sad, tragic or difficult times you'd care to share such as losing a loved one, a job, or something you cared about?
I wrote a lot about this in this post. The first loss I ever experienced was my best friend at age 9. He and I had a really strong connection, particularly for our age. He succumbed to leukemia just three days after his 9th birthday. The loss was really hard on me and truthfully, I still think about him to this day. I thikn it's had a huge impact on me, and gave me a lesson pretty early on how important it is to appreciate the people around you while they're here. There are no guarantees in life and really, all we have is one another.
2. Were there any moments you recall as true breakthroughs in any area of your life?
When my husband went to Iraq, I eventually realized that all the stupid concerns I had about us or about life essentially evaporated. It was the first time that I was jolted out of the sheltered life that we Americans don't always realize we exist in. It was also the first time that I was able to give up control of a particular situation and accept that there were things I couldn't and wouldn't understand, and that all I needed to do was be there for him. It was a whole new moment in our relationship and I felt like we knew each other on a somehow even deeper level.
3. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would that be?
I wish that I could relax and enjoy the present rather than focus on worrisome events on the horizon. Sometimes I let my anxiety get the best of me and ruin an entire day by worrying. This is the best time of my life so far and I spend far too much time worrying about needless things. I wish I would learn to be more confident in myself and in my relationships and to not worry so much about what other people think. It's a process, but I think I'm slowly getting there.
4. What have you learned over your lifetime that you'd like to share with the younger generation?
So I know that every old person ever says this to every young person ever, but appreciate being young and not having to worry about all the concerns of adulthood. I spent too much time trying to grow up and when I finally got to adulthood I realized that I had rushed it. With a few exceptions, there are no summer vacations in the real world, you generally need to spend a considerable amount of time at work, and money is always a concern unless you are fortunate enough to be wealthy. While being an adult is pretty badass, I still find myself pining for simpler times, as we all do.
5. If you and Rob could plan a perfect vacation, money not being an issue, where would you escape to?
I would love to go to New Zealand and Australia, personally. I think we'd spend the time looking at all the natural beauty but not putting any pressure on having to see every little thing. We'd enjoy some beach time and some ocean time, and just bask in the glory of each other and our love.
1. Any sad, tragic or difficult times you'd care to share such as losing a loved one, a job, or something you cared about?
I wrote a lot about this in this post. The first loss I ever experienced was my best friend at age 9. He and I had a really strong connection, particularly for our age. He succumbed to leukemia just three days after his 9th birthday. The loss was really hard on me and truthfully, I still think about him to this day. I thikn it's had a huge impact on me, and gave me a lesson pretty early on how important it is to appreciate the people around you while they're here. There are no guarantees in life and really, all we have is one another.
2. Were there any moments you recall as true breakthroughs in any area of your life?
When my husband went to Iraq, I eventually realized that all the stupid concerns I had about us or about life essentially evaporated. It was the first time that I was jolted out of the sheltered life that we Americans don't always realize we exist in. It was also the first time that I was able to give up control of a particular situation and accept that there were things I couldn't and wouldn't understand, and that all I needed to do was be there for him. It was a whole new moment in our relationship and I felt like we knew each other on a somehow even deeper level.
3. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would that be?
I wish that I could relax and enjoy the present rather than focus on worrisome events on the horizon. Sometimes I let my anxiety get the best of me and ruin an entire day by worrying. This is the best time of my life so far and I spend far too much time worrying about needless things. I wish I would learn to be more confident in myself and in my relationships and to not worry so much about what other people think. It's a process, but I think I'm slowly getting there.
4. What have you learned over your lifetime that you'd like to share with the younger generation?
So I know that every old person ever says this to every young person ever, but appreciate being young and not having to worry about all the concerns of adulthood. I spent too much time trying to grow up and when I finally got to adulthood I realized that I had rushed it. With a few exceptions, there are no summer vacations in the real world, you generally need to spend a considerable amount of time at work, and money is always a concern unless you are fortunate enough to be wealthy. While being an adult is pretty badass, I still find myself pining for simpler times, as we all do.
5. If you and Rob could plan a perfect vacation, money not being an issue, where would you escape to?
I would love to go to New Zealand and Australia, personally. I think we'd spend the time looking at all the natural beauty but not putting any pressure on having to see every little thing. We'd enjoy some beach time and some ocean time, and just bask in the glory of each other and our love.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Your Questions Answered Part VI: That Thing You Don't Speak of in Polite Company
No, not that thing.
I'm speaking, of course, about religion.
Before I begin this discussion I would like to issue a disclaimer. I don't mean for anything in this post to make it seem as though I am denigrating any person's religious or non-religious views. This is solely a reflection of my journey, and since I am all about honesty on blogs, I am happy to share it with you. I figure since this is such a hot-button topic, and since I have so many lovely religious followers, I may lose one or two of you. But I hope that doesn't happen.
This question comes from the lovely Joyful Sparrow:
What is it like to have never been religious?
If Rob and I were to choose a title for ourselves in terms of religion I suppose it would be atheist. I do not particularly like the negative connotation that this term has been given by other atheists and some religious people; Rob and I do not sit back in our chairs laughing at the religious multitudes or argue religion whenever we get the chance. We both have my friends of faith and treat them just as we would any other person with any other belief system.
So how did I get here?
My father could be described as a bit of a lapsed Catholic. He attended Catholic school all the way through high school and sort of fell out of regular church-going after college. My grandparents were die-hard Irish Catholics; they could often be seen saying the rosary together in their separate chairs, and my grandmother would pray to Saint Anthony every time an object was lost (interestingly it was always found after this prayer). My mother grew up without the same deeply entrenched religious culture as my father though her family did attend church. Soon after I got sick with cancer my mother quickly lost any faith that she may have retained from childhood and became a self-described agnostic, which she remains today.
When I was born I was baptized by a friend of my parents, a Methodist minister, because it "felt right" to my father. There are also some rumors that I and my sisters were secretly baptized Catholic as well by certain members of my family concerned with our eternal salvation, but these have not been confirmed.
I grew up in an extremely rural area, and like many rural areas the majority of the population was to some extent religious (most people in our area are Baptist). All of my friends in school attended church. I went to church a few times with my grandparents but only came out of it with sore legs from all the standing and kneeling and resentment for not being allowed to participate in the Eucharist, having not been confirmed.
I always remember being interested in religion and the idea of God and Heaven from a very young age, particularly as the concepts had never really been explained to me in any great detail. I remember asking my dad why airplanes never ran into heaven since they were above the clouds.
My best friend in 3rd grade, Ernie, was a Jehovah's Witness, and I remember having many rudimentary discussions with him about his faith (not celebrating birthdays is damn near unthinkable to a 9-year-old). When Ernie passed away from leukemia I was confronted by my own beliefs in a big way; in my grief it became an absolute necessity to believe that he had gone "to a better place" and was in the clouds with God. I actually remember asking my parents if I could call him in heaven, assuming it was a physical location. God and Heaven became truths to me in the same way that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were truths; it became easier to accept them as hard truth rather than to accept what I now believe to be the reality of the situation.
In fourth and fifth grade I read constantly about religion, particularly Greek and Roman mythology. Around this time I developed a strong interest in Judaism. I was drawn to the sense of community and belonging that it offered; having never gone to church regularly, I felt a bit of an outcast in comparison with my church-going friends. I think I was also drawn to the mystique of a religion that nobody in my immediate circle celebrated or really knew anything about. I found a penpal online in Israel (who I still speak to, interestingly enough) and she was more than happy to teach me Hebrew words and a little bit about her faith. I went so far as to consider converting before my parents put a gentle stop to it. I don't necessarily blame them, as I was clearly doing it for the wrong reasons. Eventually that random obsession came to an end but I still enjoyed reading and learning about religion through college and into adulthood.
I suppose that throughout my childhood religion was something that I wanted to belong to, but not something that I ever truly connected with. The words, prayers, and readings didn't speak to me or to my journey, hard as I tried, and by the time I reached adulthood organized religion ceased to be something I wanted to or could connect with.
It's funny to think about, though, because at odd times I can find myself yearning for some sort of sign or some sort of divine truth. When my grandmother passed away last year it was extremely traumatic for me, and I remember clutching to my husband and telling him that all I wanted was to know that she was in heaven dancing with my grandfather. As I waded through my grief, though, I came to terms with the fact that she was gone, just like every other being from this earth has come and has passed. Truly, despite the fear of not knowing what happens when we die, I think it's pretty beautiful to be a part a timeless, natural cycle that began long before time and will continue long after I'm gone.
So, to answer your question, Joyful Sparrow, I would say that growing up non-religious was confusing, but no more confusing than anything else you deal with growing up. The absence of absolute truth meant that I was free to explore a variety of options with the full support of my parents and without feeling as though I was doing something wrong by questioning, something I value and hope to continue with my children. I have a lot of respect for those who have found solace or meaning in religion and who seek to do good by others, just as I have a lot of respect for those who have made it through their journey without a religious affiliation. Ultimately the journey is our own and no one can tell us which road will be best. And truth be told, I'm still constantly questioning every day.
I want to reiterate that I hope I have not offended anyone here, as that was not my intention. I also want to give props to anyone who made it through those paragraphs because this was a pretty dense post.
I'm speaking, of course, about religion.
Before I begin this discussion I would like to issue a disclaimer. I don't mean for anything in this post to make it seem as though I am denigrating any person's religious or non-religious views. This is solely a reflection of my journey, and since I am all about honesty on blogs, I am happy to share it with you. I figure since this is such a hot-button topic, and since I have so many lovely religious followers, I may lose one or two of you. But I hope that doesn't happen.
This question comes from the lovely Joyful Sparrow:
What is it like to have never been religious?
If Rob and I were to choose a title for ourselves in terms of religion I suppose it would be atheist. I do not particularly like the negative connotation that this term has been given by other atheists and some religious people; Rob and I do not sit back in our chairs laughing at the religious multitudes or argue religion whenever we get the chance. We both have my friends of faith and treat them just as we would any other person with any other belief system.
So how did I get here?
My father could be described as a bit of a lapsed Catholic. He attended Catholic school all the way through high school and sort of fell out of regular church-going after college. My grandparents were die-hard Irish Catholics; they could often be seen saying the rosary together in their separate chairs, and my grandmother would pray to Saint Anthony every time an object was lost (interestingly it was always found after this prayer). My mother grew up without the same deeply entrenched religious culture as my father though her family did attend church. Soon after I got sick with cancer my mother quickly lost any faith that she may have retained from childhood and became a self-described agnostic, which she remains today.
When I was born I was baptized by a friend of my parents, a Methodist minister, because it "felt right" to my father. There are also some rumors that I and my sisters were secretly baptized Catholic as well by certain members of my family concerned with our eternal salvation, but these have not been confirmed.
I grew up in an extremely rural area, and like many rural areas the majority of the population was to some extent religious (most people in our area are Baptist). All of my friends in school attended church. I went to church a few times with my grandparents but only came out of it with sore legs from all the standing and kneeling and resentment for not being allowed to participate in the Eucharist, having not been confirmed.
I always remember being interested in religion and the idea of God and Heaven from a very young age, particularly as the concepts had never really been explained to me in any great detail. I remember asking my dad why airplanes never ran into heaven since they were above the clouds.
My best friend in 3rd grade, Ernie, was a Jehovah's Witness, and I remember having many rudimentary discussions with him about his faith (not celebrating birthdays is damn near unthinkable to a 9-year-old). When Ernie passed away from leukemia I was confronted by my own beliefs in a big way; in my grief it became an absolute necessity to believe that he had gone "to a better place" and was in the clouds with God. I actually remember asking my parents if I could call him in heaven, assuming it was a physical location. God and Heaven became truths to me in the same way that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were truths; it became easier to accept them as hard truth rather than to accept what I now believe to be the reality of the situation.
In fourth and fifth grade I read constantly about religion, particularly Greek and Roman mythology. Around this time I developed a strong interest in Judaism. I was drawn to the sense of community and belonging that it offered; having never gone to church regularly, I felt a bit of an outcast in comparison with my church-going friends. I think I was also drawn to the mystique of a religion that nobody in my immediate circle celebrated or really knew anything about. I found a penpal online in Israel (who I still speak to, interestingly enough) and she was more than happy to teach me Hebrew words and a little bit about her faith. I went so far as to consider converting before my parents put a gentle stop to it. I don't necessarily blame them, as I was clearly doing it for the wrong reasons. Eventually that random obsession came to an end but I still enjoyed reading and learning about religion through college and into adulthood.
I suppose that throughout my childhood religion was something that I wanted to belong to, but not something that I ever truly connected with. The words, prayers, and readings didn't speak to me or to my journey, hard as I tried, and by the time I reached adulthood organized religion ceased to be something I wanted to or could connect with.
It's funny to think about, though, because at odd times I can find myself yearning for some sort of sign or some sort of divine truth. When my grandmother passed away last year it was extremely traumatic for me, and I remember clutching to my husband and telling him that all I wanted was to know that she was in heaven dancing with my grandfather. As I waded through my grief, though, I came to terms with the fact that she was gone, just like every other being from this earth has come and has passed. Truly, despite the fear of not knowing what happens when we die, I think it's pretty beautiful to be a part a timeless, natural cycle that began long before time and will continue long after I'm gone.
So, to answer your question, Joyful Sparrow, I would say that growing up non-religious was confusing, but no more confusing than anything else you deal with growing up. The absence of absolute truth meant that I was free to explore a variety of options with the full support of my parents and without feeling as though I was doing something wrong by questioning, something I value and hope to continue with my children. I have a lot of respect for those who have found solace or meaning in religion and who seek to do good by others, just as I have a lot of respect for those who have made it through their journey without a religious affiliation. Ultimately the journey is our own and no one can tell us which road will be best. And truth be told, I'm still constantly questioning every day.
I want to reiterate that I hope I have not offended anyone here, as that was not my intention. I also want to give props to anyone who made it through those paragraphs because this was a pretty dense post.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Your Questions Answered Part V: Tattoos, El Uno, Embarassment & Books
I hope you all had an amazing weekend. I shot a wedding in Downeast Maine for two lovely ladies and ended up with around 1500 images I'll need to parse out.
I'm continuing the question-answering thing this week because I have received so many great questions!
These questions come from Melissa and Mikelle.
1. What is your favorite of your tattoos and why?
This is a tough question because usually my current favorite is my most recent. But when I consider it, I think that my half-sleeve is probably my most favorite. It is the tattoo that took the most work, planning, hours, and pain, so I have quite a fondness for it. Plus the meaning is something that will always hold great significance to me. I seriously swell with pride every time I look at it.
2. How did you know Rob was *the one* and worth waiting for and fighting for throughout everything you guys went through?
I hope it does not sound cliche when I say that I knew that Rob was the one from the second we confessed our feelings for each other. We were only 16 and 17, but I knew in the core of my being that what I felt for him was different. I told him I loved him the day we found out we loved each other, after only being friends for two months (and while I dated his best friend, whoops!). I would be lying if I said that I didn't have doubts, particularly early in our relationship, but I always found my way emotionally back to him. I'm proud to say, though, that we've never had a period of separation, because any doubts I had could so easily be resolved the second I discussed it with him. Once he left for the Army I remember the certainty settling so definitively in the core of my being that the thought of ever doubting the connection we had seemed unthinkable.
3. What are your pet peeves?
Off the top of my head: disrespect, people with no sense of humor, playing the martyr or victim, slow drivers, lack of blinker usage while driving, and parking in cities.
4. What is your most embarassing moment?
One of the problems with having such deep-seeded insecurities is that I have a propensity toward dwelling on embarassing things I did years ago as though they just happened and beating myself up for them. The moment that I do this most frequently with is probably me and Rob's first kiss.
My dad was driving and Rob and I were sitting in the back seat together (like you do). I had my head resting on his shoulder and looked up at him. He looked down and our lips connected for the first time. It was amazing; without exaggeration, time felt like it slowed down and we were the only two people in the whole world. Unfortunately, we weren't, and my dad saw us in the rear-view mirror and yelled, "Caitlin! Keep your eyes on the road, okay?!" I had totally not meant for it to happen, but it did, and I burst into tears and cried the whole way home. I still turn red when I think about it (or write about it, incidentally).
5. What is the most influential book you've read?
I would have to say "Skinny Legs and All" by Tom Robbins. I read it as a 14-year-old (and many times since then) and it continues to totally astound me. If you aren't familiar with Tom Robbins, he's an author based out of Washington who writes primarily satire and fantasy pertaining to organized religion and the role it has historically played on women and how women are/have been viewed in society. It was the first book that ever actually made me stop and re-read passages over and over again.
I'm continuing the question-answering thing this week because I have received so many great questions!
These questions come from Melissa and Mikelle.
1. What is your favorite of your tattoos and why?
This is a tough question because usually my current favorite is my most recent. But when I consider it, I think that my half-sleeve is probably my most favorite. It is the tattoo that took the most work, planning, hours, and pain, so I have quite a fondness for it. Plus the meaning is something that will always hold great significance to me. I seriously swell with pride every time I look at it.
2. How did you know Rob was *the one* and worth waiting for and fighting for throughout everything you guys went through?
I hope it does not sound cliche when I say that I knew that Rob was the one from the second we confessed our feelings for each other. We were only 16 and 17, but I knew in the core of my being that what I felt for him was different. I told him I loved him the day we found out we loved each other, after only being friends for two months (and while I dated his best friend, whoops!). I would be lying if I said that I didn't have doubts, particularly early in our relationship, but I always found my way emotionally back to him. I'm proud to say, though, that we've never had a period of separation, because any doubts I had could so easily be resolved the second I discussed it with him. Once he left for the Army I remember the certainty settling so definitively in the core of my being that the thought of ever doubting the connection we had seemed unthinkable.
3. What are your pet peeves?
Off the top of my head: disrespect, people with no sense of humor, playing the martyr or victim, slow drivers, lack of blinker usage while driving, and parking in cities.
4. What is your most embarassing moment?
One of the problems with having such deep-seeded insecurities is that I have a propensity toward dwelling on embarassing things I did years ago as though they just happened and beating myself up for them. The moment that I do this most frequently with is probably me and Rob's first kiss.
My dad was driving and Rob and I were sitting in the back seat together (like you do). I had my head resting on his shoulder and looked up at him. He looked down and our lips connected for the first time. It was amazing; without exaggeration, time felt like it slowed down and we were the only two people in the whole world. Unfortunately, we weren't, and my dad saw us in the rear-view mirror and yelled, "Caitlin! Keep your eyes on the road, okay?!" I had totally not meant for it to happen, but it did, and I burst into tears and cried the whole way home. I still turn red when I think about it (or write about it, incidentally).
5. What is the most influential book you've read?
I would have to say "Skinny Legs and All" by Tom Robbins. I read it as a 14-year-old (and many times since then) and it continues to totally astound me. If you aren't familiar with Tom Robbins, he's an author based out of Washington who writes primarily satire and fantasy pertaining to organized religion and the role it has historically played on women and how women are/have been viewed in society. It was the first book that ever actually made me stop and re-read passages over and over again.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Your Questions Answered Part IV: Love & Long-Distance
Thanks for all of your great comments so far, everyone! I hope I'm not boring you with these posts because I'm rather enjoying them.
This set of questions comes from Torilynn.
What was the most difficult time in your long-distance relationship and how did you overcome it? And also, was there anything that you learned to appreciate during that time when you both were apart?
For those of you who haven't read our story, I'll provide a little bit of context. Robbie and I were together for a year and a half before he enlisted in the U.S. Army as an airborne infantryman. Up to this point we had certainly spent time apart, as there was an hour drive between our respective houses, but we were not prepared for what apart really meant. From April until July 2004, Rob and I spoke on the phone twice, for two minutes each, and otherwise communicated solely via letters. After OSUT he moved on to Airborne School, where we had somewhat more freedom in communication, and finally he was stationed in Anchorage, Alaska. In October 2006 he deployed to Iraq during one of the most chaotic times of the war. He hadfar too many a few close calls but happily returned to me in November 2007. He has been out of the Army since May 2008.
(Happy sidenote: his official no-more-Army-forever date is next Thursday! I wish I could convey my excitement in something more than italics)
I think most people would imagine that I would say the most difficult time was during the deployment. We were averaging maybe a week of sporadic phone calls for every two weeks of no contact whatsoever, at least during those initial months of the deployment. Before he called me to tell me he had been shot and was receiving a Purple Heart, we hadn't spoken or emailed in two straight weeks. Keep in mind that during this time I was going to college and studying abroad in Moscow. But, perhaps surprisingly, the deployment was one of the easiest times communication-wise. I can't remember a single argument or a single misplaced word. It was as if we both had come to a mutual, unspoken understanding about where we were as a couple and what was going on. Our conversations were filled only with love, kind words, and understanding.
Sidenote: I'm also very lucky that my husband knows me extremely well and kept all of the horrible stories to himself, at least while he was overseas.
I would say that the most difficult time for us was when he was in Alaska prior to the deployment and I was in Beloit, Wisconsin. I am a far more dependent/needy person than Rob is, and I found it hard to get out of my own head and have fun while he was so far away. To be honest I didn't really enjoy college to its fullest extent for this reason. I didn't connect with a lot of people because I was wrestling with being a crazy girl a lot of intense emotions.
As a result I definitely was an obnoxiousharpy girlfriend sometimes. I would get annoyed if he would go see a movie with his friends because I assumed it meant he didn't want to talk to me. I'd play stupid passive-aggressive emotional games with myself. I'd hang up on him when I got pissed. I acted out because I ached for his presence and his closeness and I couldn't have it. It wasn't all bad and we were still pretty damn happy during his entire enlistment, nor did we ever question that we would stay together despite the bumps, but there were hard times and they were objectively mostly of my doing. Honestly it's a wonder the man stayed with me so long.
Another difficult time for us was immediately after he returned from deployment, when he was still in Alaska and I was still in Wisconsin. Because of school and money I couldn't make it to his homecoming ceremony, a fact that will haunt me for all of my days and something that to some extent upset him as well, though he understood the circumstances. All of a sudden the emotional baggage bullshit reared its head again after laying dormant for 13 months, and this time Rob was not in an emotional position himself to handle it as he always had. We had a few huge blowouts but nothing breakup-worthy, and when he came home and we moved in together it was if nothing had ever happened and he had simply been gone on a weekend vacation. A really long, really dangerous weekend vacation.
In terms of what I learned to appreciate, I think that our time apart, particularly during the deployment, made me realize how fragile life can be, and how amazing true love is when you find it. Going through hell with someone and making it out even stronger on the other side makes you look at that person completely differently; Rob and I agree that we are so far from the people we started out as and I honestly believe it shaped how we communicate with each other and deal with our marriage on a daily basis. Having the context of such a harrowing experience is helpful when you find yourself getting needlessly wrapped up in the obnoxious minutiae of daily life, and I don't think I would've learned to appreciate how amazingly awesome my husband is without having gone through what we did together. I know that we can get through anything together, because we've been through everything together.
Fabulous question, Torilynn, thank you! And thank you, readers, for getting through this somewhat rambling post.
P.S. - I was interviewed for Ashley's feature, New Friend Friday, over at After Nine to Five! Check her out, she's amazing!
This set of questions comes from Torilynn.
What was the most difficult time in your long-distance relationship and how did you overcome it? And also, was there anything that you learned to appreciate during that time when you both were apart?
For those of you who haven't read our story, I'll provide a little bit of context. Robbie and I were together for a year and a half before he enlisted in the U.S. Army as an airborne infantryman. Up to this point we had certainly spent time apart, as there was an hour drive between our respective houses, but we were not prepared for what apart really meant. From April until July 2004, Rob and I spoke on the phone twice, for two minutes each, and otherwise communicated solely via letters. After OSUT he moved on to Airborne School, where we had somewhat more freedom in communication, and finally he was stationed in Anchorage, Alaska. In October 2006 he deployed to Iraq during one of the most chaotic times of the war. He had
(Happy sidenote: his official no-more-Army-forever date is next Thursday! I wish I could convey my excitement in something more than italics)
 |
| Can't deny how sexy that uniform is. |
Sidenote: I'm also very lucky that my husband knows me extremely well and kept all of the horrible stories to himself, at least while he was overseas.
 |
| Pew pew pew |
As a result I definitely was an obnoxious
Another difficult time for us was immediately after he returned from deployment, when he was still in Alaska and I was still in Wisconsin. Because of school and money I couldn't make it to his homecoming ceremony, a fact that will haunt me for all of my days and something that to some extent upset him as well, though he understood the circumstances. All of a sudden the emotional baggage bullshit reared its head again after laying dormant for 13 months, and this time Rob was not in an emotional position himself to handle it as he always had. We had a few huge blowouts but nothing breakup-worthy, and when he came home and we moved in together it was if nothing had ever happened and he had simply been gone on a weekend vacation. A really long, really dangerous weekend vacation.
 |
| And Stalin watches over us all. |
Fabulous question, Torilynn, thank you! And thank you, readers, for getting through this somewhat rambling post.
P.S. - I was interviewed for Ashley's feature, New Friend Friday, over at After Nine to Five! Check her out, she's amazing!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Your Questions Answered Part III: Disease, Middle School & Dream Jobs
I'm going to skip my Things I Love Thursday post this week. Haven't found enough fun things on the interwebs and I'm liking this whole question answering thing. I beg your forgiveness, loyal readers.
Today's questions come from Sara Bell.
1. Why are you gluten-free? Do you have Celiac Disease?
I am indeed the proud owner of a faulty immune system and a faulty upper intestine. I was diagnosed with celiac disease in June of 2010, just weeks shy of our wedding. Luckily our wedding was already pretty gluten-free (we had a baked potato bar!), but it was still an adjustment. Rob has been an absolute blessing throughout the whole obnoxious process.
2. What band did you usually listen to when you locked yourself in your room in middle school? (Obviously you thought your life was insanely hard and did this because so did I, and everyone I know)
What a great question! In 5th and 6th grade I was positively obsessed with the Beatles. Like in a really creepy, obnoxious, attention-getting way. I wanted everyone to know how much I liked the Beatles. I even sort of looked like John Lennon at one point (don't ask). In 7th and 8th grade I grew more into an obnoxious poseur and started listening to a lot of the hits of the day, such as Nelly, Eminem, Limp Bizkit, and, of course, N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys. I am not particularly proud of this period in my musical history, as you can probably imagine.
3. What is your dream job?
Another great question. I used to think I'd like to be a veterinarian, but now I think I would love to be a comedy writer on a television show. Preferably with Tina Fey please. I doubt I'm funny or witty enough so for now it's just a dream, but a fun one regardless. I think I would also enjoy just writing in general, as long as I could maintain some level of creativity.
Today's questions come from Sara Bell.
1. Why are you gluten-free? Do you have Celiac Disease?
I am indeed the proud owner of a faulty immune system and a faulty upper intestine. I was diagnosed with celiac disease in June of 2010, just weeks shy of our wedding. Luckily our wedding was already pretty gluten-free (we had a baked potato bar!), but it was still an adjustment. Rob has been an absolute blessing throughout the whole obnoxious process.
2. What band did you usually listen to when you locked yourself in your room in middle school? (Obviously you thought your life was insanely hard and did this because so did I, and everyone I know)
What a great question! In 5th and 6th grade I was positively obsessed with the Beatles. Like in a really creepy, obnoxious, attention-getting way. I wanted everyone to know how much I liked the Beatles. I even sort of looked like John Lennon at one point (don't ask). In 7th and 8th grade I grew more into an obnoxious poseur and started listening to a lot of the hits of the day, such as Nelly, Eminem, Limp Bizkit, and, of course, N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys. I am not particularly proud of this period in my musical history, as you can probably imagine.
3. What is your dream job?
Another great question. I used to think I'd like to be a veterinarian, but now I think I would love to be a comedy writer on a television show. Preferably with Tina Fey please. I doubt I'm funny or witty enough so for now it's just a dream, but a fun one regardless. I think I would also enjoy just writing in general, as long as I could maintain some level of creativity.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Your Questions Answered Part II: Negativity and Blogging
Today's question comes from Katie!
I love how you're so honest in your blog. It's something I struggle with, so I just end up posting loads of pictures, and not saying much at all for fear of being judged harshly. Do you ever worry about being judged or are you fairly anonymous?
I've always been particularly sensitive to criticism in all areas of my life, whether it be my writing, how I do my job, or how I talk to other people. The slightest negative word can have me in tears or questioning myself or wanting to curl into a ball to stop the racing thoughts.
I am indeed extremely honest about what I go through on a daily basis on my blog. I am a very open person, both in real life and here, and I am pretty willing to talk about just about everything because I want my blog to be an accurate reflection of who I am. I won't lie that I grow tired of blogs that never show any flaws or negativity, because above all I like meeting people and people are not perfect or always positive. I think my honesty gives my blog extra depth and makes it--hopefully--that much more interesting to read. My readers can correct me on that if they so wish. :)
As you said, Katie, this opens me up to criticism because I am more vulnerable. But along with being vulnerable, I am also more genuine. I think it is because of this that my experience on my blog has been anything but negative. If anything, my posts about anxiety, depression, and finding my own self-worth get more views and more in-depth comments than my every-day-happenings type posts. In fact, I don't think I have received a single negative comment on any of my more "vulnerable" posts. And indeed, writing honest posts about PTSD or anxiety or depression help to make this blog a joy and a release rather than one more way to hide my true self behind false positivity. I don't want it to ever become a chore in that way.
I think that above all, people want to read and they want to relate. We all want to know that what we feel is normal and that others are experiencing what we may be. If I receive any negativity down the line, I'm sure it will hurt and I'm sure I will question myself. But at the end of the day, I will be happier that I put myself out there than if I had hidden who I am and what I think.
Do you find it easy to be yourself on your blog?
I love how you're so honest in your blog. It's something I struggle with, so I just end up posting loads of pictures, and not saying much at all for fear of being judged harshly. Do you ever worry about being judged or are you fairly anonymous?
I've always been particularly sensitive to criticism in all areas of my life, whether it be my writing, how I do my job, or how I talk to other people. The slightest negative word can have me in tears or questioning myself or wanting to curl into a ball to stop the racing thoughts.
I am indeed extremely honest about what I go through on a daily basis on my blog. I am a very open person, both in real life and here, and I am pretty willing to talk about just about everything because I want my blog to be an accurate reflection of who I am. I won't lie that I grow tired of blogs that never show any flaws or negativity, because above all I like meeting people and people are not perfect or always positive. I think my honesty gives my blog extra depth and makes it--hopefully--that much more interesting to read. My readers can correct me on that if they so wish. :)
As you said, Katie, this opens me up to criticism because I am more vulnerable. But along with being vulnerable, I am also more genuine. I think it is because of this that my experience on my blog has been anything but negative. If anything, my posts about anxiety, depression, and finding my own self-worth get more views and more in-depth comments than my every-day-happenings type posts. In fact, I don't think I have received a single negative comment on any of my more "vulnerable" posts. And indeed, writing honest posts about PTSD or anxiety or depression help to make this blog a joy and a release rather than one more way to hide my true self behind false positivity. I don't want it to ever become a chore in that way.
I think that above all, people want to read and they want to relate. We all want to know that what we feel is normal and that others are experiencing what we may be. If I receive any negativity down the line, I'm sure it will hurt and I'm sure I will question myself. But at the end of the day, I will be happier that I put myself out there than if I had hidden who I am and what I think.
Do you find it easy to be yourself on your blog?
Monday, July 25, 2011
Your Questions Answered Part I: I Married my Brother and Other Thoughts
So here is my first post aimed at answering some of the questions you posed to me in this post.
1. Does anyone ask you if Rob is your brother instead of your husband?
I have to say that this question made me laugh out loud. We get this so much, especially since I cut my hair in '03 and started wearing glasses full time instead of contacts ('05 or so). No one has outrightly asked us if we are siblings, but I can't even tell you how many people have mentioned how much we look alike. Even his brother and mother have made comments about it. I always wonder how many strangers see us and wonder the same thing, particularly after we have shared some sort of decidedly not sibling-appropriate sign of affection. Once we went to a movie theater with Rob's dad and Rob said to me, "I wonder how many people assume we are two siblings walking with our dad." Creepy.
Taken at Christmas, 2003
2. Can you ever imagine yourself with long hair again?
Yes and no. I love the idea of long hair, but not the required maintenance. When my hair is long it is poofy, frizzy, unruly, and obnoxiously curly. I was reminded of this when I tried to grow it out earlier this year; I made it to the helmet-head stage before I finally gave up (if you recognize your hairdo on a man in a movie from the 1970s, it might be time to quit). I think Rob would prefer I have long hair again, though he would never impose that on me or even admit it, but right now I just can't be bothered.
First picture together, 2002 or 2003. Notice the great variety in my husband's t-shirts.
3. Are you far- or near-sighted?
I am near-sighted. I wore a reading glasses in second grade or so, but between you and me, I think I lied about not being able to see well to my parents because I wanted glasses (that's how cool I am and was). They went along with my little charade since we had great eye insurance. When I was in 5th or 6th grade my family's great myopic tradition was passed on to me and I started wearing glasses, and later contacts, then back to glasses, full-time.
4. What is your favorite gluten-free food?
I would have to say all Udi's bread products--muffins, bread, pizza crust, and bagels in particular. They can be treated like "real" bread (as in, you don't have to freeze and then toast them) and they actually have a decent consistency. They were the only gluten-free bread product that didn't cause my teeth to squeak against them. If you have frozen and toasted other gluten-free breads you know what I mean by the "squeaking."
5. Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
In fourth grade I used to imagine a little man that sat inside my desk, but I never went all that far with it. I grew up with two sisters who were relatively close in age to me, so I had scant desire to dream up one more person I'd have to fight with for space.
I'll answer some more questions as the week goes on. Hope you all are having an amazing Monday!
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