Weekend Stuff & Things

Here are some of the things we've been doing this weekend.

1. I have been having the most vivid dreams EVER you guys.  I haven't been able to figure out what exactly is causing them; the only thing that's different is this cream I'm putting on my face for the treatment of milia (gross) and I can't imagine something I'd put on my skin could actually affect how I dream.  All of the dreams I've had have involved very strong, negative emotions--in my dreams over the course of the last few nights I was threatened with broken bones and sexual abuse by the evil guy in "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", I had a really horrible miscarriage while fighting with my husband in Iraq and woke up sobbing, and last night I had to sneak into Cypress's daycare to get a picture of her teeth and was caught.  That last one doesn't seem as intense but I promise you, it was pretty stressful.  Anyway though you might think that this would make me not want to go to bed, I'm actually interested each night to see what my brain will come up with.  Is that weird?

2. Rob and I saw a hockey game with his brother and his brother's wife last night.  As I've told you guys before, hockey is literally the only sport I can tolerate and actually enjoy watching.  It's fast-paced, very high-tension, and the periods are the perfect length of time (and the sport doesn't require you to stop every 5 seconds like football).  Plus our team won and we got to see some blood from one of the fights, and who doesn't love a good old-fashioned brawl?

3. I finally sent my Nikon away to get repaired so you guys won't have to deal with randomly-sized iPhone images for too much longer.

4. I'm getting very close to my trip to Santa Fe and I've narrowed down the places that I most want to see. I can't really make appointments until next week, so I have all my fingers and toes crossed that the ones I want to see are still available at that time.  I don't want to jinx any of the good ones so I won't share any here...but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

5. I just finished this book about poison in Jazz Age New York and I loved it.  Maybe it's because I'm a huge crime nerd but I found it absolutely fascinating, and written in a way that was extremely approachable and intriguing.  Every time I'd read it I would excitedly tell Rob some fact or another that I had learned about Prohibition, murder, or poison.  I'm pretty sure he loved it judging by his half-hearted "mm" and "huh"s.  Also, this was one of the only times I've been genuinely disappointed that a book ended.

6. On a somewhat related note to the previous bullet point, in the book the author explains that the body of a person who was poisoned with arsenic decays at a much slower rate; she even cites one case in which a body was exhumed over a year after death that, aside from some "patches of mold" on the face,  was in near-perfect condition.  I decided to learn more about that, because I find things like putrefaction interesting.  So I started Googling, and fell down ye olde Internet Rabbit Hole and long story short, ended up on an article explaining why the Holocaust never happened.  A quick aside: this is not in line in any way, shape or form with my beliefs; the article was also about carbon monoxide detection in corpses, which probably doesn't assure you any further of my stability but there it is.  Anyway, a bit shocked to say the least I scrolled to the top of the screen and realized I was on the forum of a White Supremacist website. And interestingly, they had a whole forum dedicated to White Supremacist recipes you could make for your family. So if this blog gets shut down it might be because I'm being investigated by the FBI for racist cooking.

What scary and possibly damning websites have you visited this weekend?

Sisters' Weekend

First of all, as always, thank you guys for your sweet comments on my last post.  I know that sometimes I can be incessantly whiny when it comes to my husband so your tolerance is much appreciated.

This weekend was a much-needed respite from my few days of loneliness. On Thursday and Friday I sat in on a class for work, and I'm not sure why but I have a terrible time focusing in an LVC (online class) so I tend to get easily distracted by Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.  I made it though and got a lot of good information.

Also, I drew some shower art on one of our breaks so that Robbie would have something fun to see when he comes home.

Finally the class ended on Friday, just in time for my sister Ashleen and my niece to arrive at my door.  I stuffed my niece full of icing-covered brownies (like a good aunt should) and we were off on our way to my mother's house, who was watching Brielle for the weekend, to meet up with Megan.

My sister Megan, as most of you know, has an adorable little studio in Boston that I rather enjoy visiting when 1) I want to see her and/or 2) want a taste of city life.  Now that my niece is older and it's easier for Ashleen to leave her with family for extended periods, we've been trying to hang out at Megan's and enjoy time together.

On the first day we went to IKEA and holy schnikees you guys, why didn't anyone tell me how amazing it is?! I wanted every goofy little room setup we saw.  The most exciting part of the trip, however, was that I found a new table for Robbie and I.  Our current table is a hand-me-down, is ugly, and is rather big and obnoxious to transport.  We thought it'd be perfect to buy one at IKEA since the boxes are compact and easy to move.  I don't have a picture of the table but you can see it here.

By far the strangest development of the day, though, was the temperature. If you don't live in the Northeast, let me stress to you that it never gets into the 60s in January.  Honestly I think this has literally happened one other time in my life.

And though 60 degrees feels pretty cold in August, let me tell you that it feels downright tropical in January.

Anyway that night we went out to a little restaurant called Davoli's and got yummy drinks and delicious food.  My dad had texted us earlier asking us casually where we were going, and used that information to call the restaurant and pay for our meal.  How sweet is that, right?! I love my dad.

Also, check out how much of a classy bitch I am.

 

I know, I know, pictures aren't all the same width.

On Sunday we did lots of shopping which was bad for my bank account but great for my closet.  I just love H&M, as a side note. 

Ashleen and I got back to my house late, made dinner and crashed with my niece.  She left early this morning for work and I've been sitting in on yet another class, in between folding laundry, closet-purging and trying on a few of my new outfits:

Birds on belted dresses? Ironic "vintage" sweatshirts? I'm such a hipster.

Anyway, it was a lovely weekend spent with two of my very favorite people.  I'm really going to miss them when I leave for Santa Fe, especially because Ashleen hates planes and likely won't be in a hurry to come visit me.

I'm leaving for the airport in about an hour to pick up my husband.  He did very well at Fire Camp and made a few new friends, just as I expected him to, but he is more than ready to come home.  He told me it felt a lot like Basic training and he feels like he's been away from home for months.  I wholeheartedly concur.

Well friends, I hope you had a lovely weekend and an even better week ahead.

Christmasy Things

Hoo boy, Christmas is over! Did it go by far too quickly for anyone else?

After a day of rest following our vacation (post about which is forthcoming), we drove to my sister's place to have Christmas with my mom on Friday.  We bought my 2-year-old niece some of those giant cardboard blocks which was pretty awesome sauce to watch.  My mother bought me a neat piece of photographic art that spells out our last name with beautiful architectural and natural photographs.  Rob and I are always looking for new art pieces to put on our wall and I'm sure it'll look fabulous in our new place.

After Christmas #2, we drove to Rob's parents' house.  Rob got really sick due to a gross buffalo chicken wrap he had eaten earlier in the day, so suffice it to say he has somewhat of an idea what it's like to be Caitlin eating gluten.  My mother-in-law kept feeding Cypress huge bits of ham and then was wondering why she was being followed around all day:

On Christmas Eve I attended mass with Rob's parents and sister, which was a first for me but I enjoyed it regardless.  I'm not religious, nor do I believe in God, but it's interesting to me to watch and listen.  Afterward we watched "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," which is Rob's family's Christmas tradition. The temperature dropped insanely low, which on a normal day would piss me off.  But Christmas Eve is best suited for winter, am I right?

Christmas morning came and yes, I was the second or third person awake at around 7:30.  I love Christmas morning.  We opened our gifts, which included an awesome camcorder for Robbie and I and some new MST3K episodes.  The harbor was stunning and I'm amazed at how well my iPhone 4S captured it. Also, Cypress is adorable.

After a very successful Christmas morning #3, we drove to my dad's house.  It was great seeing my sisters and dad again, especially since this is one of the last times I'll see them for awhile once we move (sad face).  I got the keyboard for my iPad that I wanted, a new knife set from my younger sister, and an awesome handmade iPhone doc from an amazing book of Russian prison tattoos from my older sister:

How cool is that?  I told her she should sell them. Because she knew we'd love the book as well as the dock, she bought us a pristine version too! Extra win.

Today was Christmas hangover day, one of the roughest days of the year in my humble opinion.  We made the long drive home, and once we got home I opened Robbie's gift to me: a really nice hiking rucksack specifically made with a spot for my camera once I get it fixed.  He's magical. 

I also let him open his gift for our anniversary on Wednesday, the perfect shave kit!  Yes, we are old. 

Anyway reality begins once again tomorrow, as does all the stress of our upcoming move.  I told Rob to expect at least one all-out crying fit but hey, I guess we'll see.  

Was Santa good to you this year?

Merry Christmas!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas this year. I had an amazing time spent with both of our families and of course with my amazing husband and beastie. I feel so fortunate to get to spend this holiday with those I love most.

On another note, I really miss blogging and hope to get back to it soon. I hope you all enjoyed the guest posts in my absence.

Lots of love!

Guest Post: Danielle's Awesome Family Christmas Tradition

While Rob and I are on vacation in Florida I thought I'd share some awesome blog writers with you.  This is my first guest post extravaganza so I hope you enjoy!  Today's post is from Danielle of Little Spindle!  Danielle emailed me awhile back to talk about our mutual "I love a military man" experience.  She and her blog are lovely, and I adore the story she's shared with you below.  Thanks Danielle!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hello To Make Love Stay readers! I'm so excited to be here today and hope that you'll come visit me at Little Spindle sometime :)

Caitlin asked me to write something holiday related and after thinking about it for awhile I decided to share the strangest (and probably most long lasting) family tradition that I could think of.

OK, so the story starts 52 Christmas Eves ago with this woman:

Gram

Picture it!

It's Christmas Eve and the family has just finished a big dinner around a beautiful dining room table at my great aunt and uncle's house, who my grandmother is staying with while my grandfather is away in the Army. She is 8 months pregnant with my mom at this point, but Gram has always been quite the prankster. But apparently the joke's on her this time because later in the evening while the family is opening gifts Gram is presented with a beautifully wrapped package and she can't wait to tear into it.

But to what do her wandering eyes appear?! Take a guess...you'll never get it!

Remember how the family had just finished a beautiful holiday feast? Well, apparently after the meal someone took it upon themselves to completely clean the turkey carcass (with bleach and everything) and wrap it up for my grandmother to open. Please, take a moment and imagine receiving what's pictured below wrapped beautifully on Christmas Eve 1959.

Ok, so that'd be a pretty strange story - if it ended there...but of course, because my family is insane, it's far from over!

Gram received this darn thing wrapped up beautifully three more times in the next two days. They all traveled from house to house visiting all of the cousins and every.single.time they sat down to open gifts, there is was AGAIN!!!

How is this silly story a family tradition you're probably asking?

Ever since, every few years the carcass (which has 1959 written on it) resurfaces, wrapped as a gift and passed to a different member of the family. The trick is, when you pass it along to the next person you have to do it on the sly. Two years ago when my mom turned 50 (the turkey's 50th anniversary) someone placed a "gift" into the backseat of my parent's locked vehicle during a family Christmas party and later on when my mom opened it we all DIED laughing.

Alright, awesome - so now that you know how strange my family really is how about you try not to judge me too terribly and hop on over to Little Spindle because I promise you that this is the only post I have ever written that has anything to do with well preserved bones of any kind.

Thanks Caitlin for having me and I'll understand if you never ask me to guest post here ever again...

Christmas Decoration Time!

For some reason Rob and I put off Christmas decorating for a lot longer than we usually do this year.  Is it just me or has the end of 2011 crept up far too quickly?  Though I am excited to be in a year that ends with an even number, I'm not sure I'm totally ready for 2011 to end. I think the other reason we waited so long is that Rob is eyeballs-deep in finals, more so than he's ever been, and it means that most of our evenings are spent on our respective computers and not doing a ton of interacting.

On Monday we invited our friend Amie over and set off to get our tree, a blue spruce.  It's beautiful. We bought only one Hallmark ornament this year (an awesome Twilight Zone one--thanks for the heads up on this one, Alycia!) and received another ornament as a gift from Amie, which totally counts toward our "two Hallmark ornaments a year" tradition.

We also put out our favorite Christmas decoration, which I had totally forgotten about.  Behold, the Cypress nativity scene:

 

Isn't it darling? I bought it at this shop last Christmas.  The shop doesn't currently have nativity scenes anymore but I'm sure you can find them somewhere on Etsy.

We also watched all of the South Park Christmas specials, which despite the vulgarity still made me feel all warm and Christmasy.

Isn't Christmas magical? Are your decorations up?

Also, I'm sorry that my photos are so crappy. I miss my Nikon D60 (which, if you remember, died in Sedona) so very much.  I'm hoping to have it back soon.

Family Weekend

This weekend I took a trip to Boston to take my dad out to dinner with my sisters in celebration for his 60th birthday.  I may not talk about it a lot but my sisters and I are really close with my dad (and each other) so it was wonderful to spend time with them.

We took my dad to a wicked nice restaurant with deeeelicious steaks and yummy drinks.  We had an absolute blast talking about my and my sisters' burgeoning prostitution business (inside joke) as well as more serious topics.  No matter what we're doing it warms my heart to spend time with four of my favorite people in the world.

 

After dinner we walked back to my sister Megan's apartment.  We watched "It's a Wonderful Life," but really my dad watched it and my sisters and I took silly pictures of ourselves using my iPad and Megan's Mac Book. If you're friends with me on Instagram (I'm tomakelovestay, by the way!) you probably saw your feed inundated with the images I'm sharing below (and I'm sorry for the poor quality...my iPad camera is iffy at best).

This morning my dad took us out to breakfast, where we had more yummy drinks (mimosas, margaritas, bloody marys, oh my!).

As a side note, my niece Brielle (who was babysat by my mother while we went to Boston) has officially decided that she will call Rob "Uncle Robbit," which is just adorable.

How was your weekend?

Weekend Bits & Pieces

Happy Monday, all! I hope you had a great weekend.  Thank you for your comments on my last post; as always, your support is greatly appreciated.

Rob and I had a pretty busy weekend that went by really quickly.  It finally started to feel like November, which makes me sad but also excited for the upcoming holiday season.

Here is our weekend, bits and pieces style:

Saturday:

Rob and I got up and headed to his brother and sister-in-law's house.  We caught up on the first 5 or so episodes of Dexter this season (does anyone else love this show? We've been watching it for years and we're totally addicted) and later went to Chipotle (!!!) and finally to an AHL hockey team in Portland.  I'm not a big sports fan but for some reason I'm rather drawn to hockey.  So much so that I've bought two jerseys for the two teams we actually follow.  Who cares that I still am not totally sure how "boarding" differs from how hockey players normally slam each other into the walls and that I have to continually ask Rob why that guy is sitting in the see-through jail box?

(Also, isn't my husband's "No-Shave November" beard absolutely majestic? I won't mind if you voice your support of it in the comments...I secretly want him to keep it)

Sunday:

My mom's birthday was on Saturday so we decided to surprise her by taking her out to lunch.  My little sister and my 2-year-old niece came to our house so we could drive there together.  Before they came I did some sweeping to wrangle all the stray dog hair, which is always disheartening as it's impossible to get ahead of.  This is what I managed to find solely under Cypress's bed, and one reason why you might want to reconsider adopting a dog with Husky blood (and no, I don't mind showing you how dirty my house can get):

Also, I wore these awesome slippers and PJ pants while I cleaned:

Lunch with my mom was amazing! We had delicious Mexican food and massive margaritas (win!).  My niece Brielle got sick, but we had fun together taking a walk in the amazing 70-degree weather.

Afterward we drove home, where Robbie made us dinner.  Well, he tried, but Brielle was reaching and crying for the the entire time.  Since Brielle was 5 or 6 months she has been absolutely infatuated with Rob and it is absolutely adorable to see them snuggling together.  I'd show you pictures but my sister is pretty sensitive about photos of Brielle appearing online so out of respect for her I will refrain.  I promise, it's pretty cute.

Monday:

Today Ashleen and I made Nutella lava cookies (which, spoiler alert, may appear here later) and watched countless episodes of Dora the Explorer with Brielle.  I have to say, you don't know quiet until your two-year-old niece leaves your house.  I really enjoyed spending time with her and my sister; though we're only 2 hours apart it can be hard to find time to get together.  I was sad to see them go but hey, Thanksgiving is only a few days away!

How was your weekend?

What I Wore Today & a Touch of the Weekend

First off, I wanted to thank you all for the amazing comments you left on my inadequacy post.  One of the many reasons I blog is the fabulous support I get from people all over the world, people who understand what I'm feeling and aren't threatened or frightened by it.  You are all amazing x1000 and you really made my day so much brighter.

Since you all didn't run screaming from my last outfit post, I thought that I might as well do another on this rainy Sunday. 

I got this dress from American Eagle a few years ago.  Interestingly, my darling husband picked his dress out for me, and even though I had initial doubts, he encouraged me to get it and I'm very happy he did.  This has become a summer staple for me (I've had many sunburns in the shape of this dress) and now it has a ton of sentimental value to me. The only ahem problem that is poses is when I'm cold, if you catch my drift, but that is quickly rectified with Bandaids. 

Pardon this muy awkward pose.

So there you go again, I hope these aren't as cringeworthy as they seem to me now.

This weekend Robbie and I went to Boston to visit my sister and to participate in CASHunt, sort of a Boston-based scavenger hunt, with my dad and stepmom.  It was a little awkward and goofy, but I was grateful for the opportunity to spend time with Megan and my dad.  I'll write more about our weekend and my sister's awesome new brownstown apartment later in the week.

I hope you all had a magical weekend full of fairytales and unicorns. And Chipotle, like mine was.

Weekend Bits and Pieces

1. First of all, and this is exciting I promise, I got my hair colored on Friday!  It is now a dark, dark brown similar to the color it was on my wedding day.  After it was done one of the sylists at the salon said something like, "wow, I had no idea that such a dark brown would look so good with your pale skin, and it looks more natural than your natural color." Pretty impressive, two insults in a single sentence.

2. On Saturday Robbie and I spent time with his brother and his brother's wife, Jessi (I talked about Jessi in this post).  They live around 50 minutes from us so we spend a fair amount of time with them when we can.  We watched some 30 Rock (duh), had a few drinks and talked about various things.  Rob's brother, Nick, took Cypress for a four-mile walk while we bought food for dinner.  We ended up making one of my favorite meals, "breaded" chicken stuffed with feta, garlic and spinach, paired with asparagus on the side. Lots of butter and oil and damn, it was yummy.

Yeah yeah, I ate most of it before remembering taking a picture. /gluttony

We also saw the movie "Super 8," which I rather liked.  It reminded me of a present-day "Goonies" though with a lot more swearing and carnage.

3. Today I went to lunch with the lovely Justine, my wedding photographer and good friend.  Every time I go to the big city of Portland I have to eat Chipotle.  I don't know about you guys, but I'm at least 87% convinced that food from Chipotle is some sort of delicious gift from the heavens, or at least contains some sort of extremely addictive narcotic. I could eat Chipotle day and night, and twice on Sunday, though only once this Sunday.  Anyway after eating some delicious Chipotle manna I met with an August wedding client.  Their wedding will be my first Jewish wedding as a photographer so I am pretty excited for the new experience (okay and also scared out of my mind that I'll do something wrong, but you know, it all comes with the "excited" package).

4. After all the other funnery from today Justine and I met up for a "Trash" the Dress shoot featuring me in my lovely wedding dress.  Because I love my wedding dress so much, I positively refused to trash it, so basically I just got some awesome pictures of me totally rocking the dress.  Here's a teaser picture!

Courtesy of Justine Johnson Photography

Awesome, right?! Somehow I look half-human in this picture and that, truly, is a feat. Thanks Justine!

5. Look at what I saw on the way home!

To answer your question, yes, I pulled over to take this. I'm not veering off the road in this picture, though that would make a better story.

5. I wanted to tell my Saturday gym story because I think it's hilarious. Saturday was my leg-exercising day but because I'm lazy said leg-exercising didn't include running, just squats, calf exercises, and lunges.  Anyway I was squatting away (ew) when a little 7- or 8-year-old girl came up to me, pointed to my 15-lb weights and asked "are those heavy?" to which I replied, "yes, very heavy," hoping she wouldn't grab one and fall over and break a limb and everyone would blame me.  Anyway this girl ended up chatting with me for a good 20 minutes. Call me subconciously lazy but I was too scared to start working out again because she was doing a lot of leaping and jumping around me and I didn't want to hurt her with freeweights.  Some of the gems from our conversation:

Me: What's your favorite subject in school?
Girl: Gym. I hate school.
Me: I LOVED school. I wish I was in school now.
Girl: Why on earth would you want to be in school?!
Me: Because when you work as an adult you don't get summers off! You have to spend all day inside working!
(way to crush dreams, right? I'm good at that)

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Girl: A waitress. I was a waitress with my grandfather once and I was really good at it.

Girl: Are you married?
Me: Yep, my husband's here at the gym. His name is Rob.
Girl: Oh, is he the guy from Twilight?
Me: Yes, he does have the same name as Robert Pattinson...
Girl: (interrupts) No, is he actually the guy from Twilight?
Me: No, unfortunately, I did not marry Edward from Twilight.*

*Just kidding, I think it is actually quite fortunate that I did not marry Edward. What Bella sees in that pale sparkling douchebag I'll never know.

6. Rob and I are spending our Sunday watching a Nova special about dogs on Netflix. Yes, we're nerds, but let's face it...dogs are awesome.

What did you do this weekend?

Thoughts on Love, Loss, and Appreciation of the Present

I'm going to go ahead and warn you that this will be a long one.  So if you skim or skip entirely, I don't blame you.

Today I read a really moving post written by the lovely Danielle of Sometimes Sweet, one of my favorite blogs. I realize that I quote/reference her quite a bit, but she’s awesome so I feel that this is acceptable.

The crux of the post, “What are you Waiting For?” is essentially that we too often get so caught up in the day-to-day happenings of life that we forget to tell our loved ones and friends just how much they mean to us. As Danielle so eloquently posits, life has absolutely no guarantees that any of us will be here tomorrow, and thus many of the thoughts, feelings and words that are often relegated to the deep recesses of our mind should be shared with those we love while we are here, in this present moment.

This post really resonated with me for a lot of reasons. I have had a pretty amazing life free of completely hopeless challenges; I have encountered loss, confrontations with my own mortality and moments of life-affirming happiness. All of these events have given me a strong perspective on living for today while simultaneously planning for tomorrow.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to share a few of these events and the impact they’ve had on me in this respect.

When I was four years old, I was diagnosed with Wilm’s Tumor, a kidney tumor most commonly found in young children. By the time they found the tumor it was approximately 16 centimeters around (more or less the size of my head). Thankfully it had not spread, and after a total nephrectomy and 6 months of chemotherapy I was completely cured and have had no problems since. While I have few real memories of this period, I often marvel at the fact that I’ve made it this far with absolutely no complications. Wilm's Tumor has a high cure rate, so my chances were excellent especially given the high quality medical care I received, but regardless I look at the experience as an opportunity to reaffirm how awesome it is to be alive.

When I was seven, I became best friends with a boy in our class, Ernie. We had such an unusually tight bond for children our age that his parents (as recently as 3 or so years ago) told me that they had always expected that one day we’d be married. When we were eight, his leukemia relapsed and he passed 3 days before his 9th birthday. I find it heartbreaking that I can’t remember the sound of his voice, but can hear the voice of my guidance counselor as she told me that he had passed away the night before. And though I only knew him for a few years, and though I haven’t seen him or talked to him in close to twenty years, he is someone that I think about extremely frequently and someone who I feel has had a huge impact on my life.

Ernie is the little boy all the way to the left in the back row...I'm fourth from left in the back row. Cute, eh?

I’m sure some of you have read my and Rob’s story, but to give a quick summary, Rob left for Basic Training after we’d been together for a year and a half, and was stationed in Alaska for another few years before deploying to Iraq in 2006. He was deployed to the  most dangerous area of Iraq (the Triangle of Death) during the most dangerous time of the war (2006-2007). He was shot (luckily received only a wee bit of lead in his arm as a souvenir) and was involved in multiple explosions and near-fatal incidents. My frequent readers know the effect this had on me and continues to have on me to this day.

Finally I’d like to talk about my sister-in-law, Jessi. Jessi is one of my favorite people in the world because she is genuine, sweet, and strong. Following years of various health issues Jessi was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 24, just two weeks shy of her wedding (which was two years ago today, Happy Anniversary, Jess!). Jessi took the diagnosis in stride, encountering bumps along the way but coming out on the other side with her health. Doctors were baffled by the fact that she had developed cancer at such a young age with no genetic history, but Jessi has beaten cancer at every turn with a smile almost always on her face and for that, I am so very proud of her.

These events, in my mind, have helped to shape who I am as a person and how I look at the world. Perhaps ironically, my obsessive planning and focus on what’s next has helped me to gain an understanding of how little we know about the future and how "prepared" we should be for the unknown.

When Rob was gone, even prior to deployment, I would say “I love you” every single chance I got. Even before I hung up on him in a fit of anger (which happened with embarrassing frequency), I’d say “I love you” first because I knew both the fragility of our situation as well as the fragility of life in general. Now that he’s home and I have learned the full extent of his experience, I tell him at least 20 times daily what he means to me, either while cuddling in bed and gazing into his eyes or through letters that I write him throughout my day. Sometimes I hold him tightly and breathe in everything about him, so that I have a moment in time to return to should I, heaven forbid, ever lose him. If something happens to me tomorrow, I want no question to be raised in his mind that I truly loved him and that he meant the world to me.

The same holds true for my amazing family and friends. After watching my paternal grandparents pass away in 2009 and 2010, it became clear to me how relatively little time I have left to spend with either of my parents, and, for all I know, my sisters and my niece. As a result I will take time out of my day every so often to let them know that I’m thinking about them, that I love and appreciate them. They all do the same thing which warms my heart to no end.

I find that I even let Cypress know how much I appreciate her. Sometimes when we’re alone on a walk or hanging out on the couch I will say out loud, “I love you Cypress, and I will miss you when you’re gone.” I know that I have a woefully short amount of time with her and though she can’t understand my words, I like to think that she understands my sentiment.

I appreciate your sentiment!

But though I do take time out of my day every now and then to let those around me know what I’m thinking and feeling, like all people, I know I could do this more. Danielle’s post served as a small reminder to me about the fragility of life and how important it is for each of us to live in the present moment and not forget that which is most important in our lives.

I certainly hope that this post doesn’t come across as negative; I feel quite the opposite after writing it. Though death and loss are never easy to deal with, they can also have the sometimes unintended effect of allowing us to truly celebrate life and those around us. The best any of us can hope for is to live a life free of regrets and missed words.

And check out Danielle’s blog if you haven’t; she said this much more simply, yet more eloquently, than I did.