A Walk with Cypress

We adopted Cypress back in 2008, and since then she's had a very active exercise schedule.  It's changed depending on which one of us was available to walk her, whether I was traveling, and how easily we could walk her off-leash.  Now that Rob's gone and I'm working from home, her normal schedule is four  3/4 mile walks each day (8 am, 12pm, 3pm, and 6:30pm).  She's unique in that she is even more routine-driven than most dogs; even if she's exhausted from previous walks or a trip to the dog park she will follow you around the house once she knows it's time for her to walk again.

Over the last few months I've taken her along the same path generally, a private hiking trail just behind our house.  We walk her so often that we actually created a shortcut trail that people have started to use (which is annoying, because they walk through our driveway to get to it). The trail goes up the mountain, but since I'm lazy and don't always have a ton of time, I walk her in the other direction (you know, down the mountain), around the houses below ours, then up the road back to our place.  

I thought it'd be fun to take some photos of one of our walks and share them with you.  I haven't been taking my camera out as much as I'd like so it helped to relieve the monotony of walking the same path every single day.

Her morning walk was later than usual so she had an excess of energy.


I feel like this is very much a "desert" flower, in that its beauty lies in its almost lack of beauty, if that makes sense.


She usually won't go too far ahead of me before looking back.


I hate yucca. I seriously do. Every time I touch one of these things I get the shit poked out of me.  One of those little white string things actually embedded itself in my finger once.


The view from our walk - you can see all of Santa Fe, some of Los Alamos, and a tiny bit of Albuquerque.

One of Dids's favorite things to do when she's anxious is to stand between my legs and get butt scritches.

I've been amazed at how beautiful cactus flowers can be.

Cicada holes. I am seriously so fucking over the cicadas. We had them in Maine, but the trees there are tall so you hardly have to see them.  Since the trees in New Mexico are mostly ear-level, they're 80 times louder and feel the need to fucking dive out of the tree as soon as you walk by.  I'm super jumpy because they've literally flown at my face several times.

Did you know that this is what cactuses look like when they die? I had to look up whether this was wood and actually sits under the exterior of the cactus, or if this is just dried succulent.

When I see small trees I like to imagine it's a tiny forest and I'm a giant.

This is the last part of the walk and my least favorite. It looks relatively flat, but it's actually uphill, and in 90 degree weather with the sun beating down on you it's not a great way to end a walk.

Finally, my favorite non-human. I don't know what I'd do without this little beastie when Rob's gone.

Happy Sunday, all!

Things I Love Thursday on a Weekend

Epic Geek Jewelry for Nerdy Girls (or guys, whatevs). Thanks Meg!

Draw a Stickman awesome little adventure game thing.  This was far, far more entertaining to me than I ever would've imagined. Thanks Meg!

If you want some awesome links check out The Oatmeal's new site BearFood.  Basically users submit and upvote hilarious/amazing links.  For the third time, thanks Megan!

If you need convincing that BearFood is awesome, check out this link I found there: 10 Strange Facts about Einstein.

Love should be a balls-out proposition.  Thanks for this, Deanna!

A child's skull before losing baby teeth.  This is creepy as hell but super cool. (via Lynsey)

25 Things You Didn't Know about "Mad Men" That Will Blow Your Mind.  These did blow my mind - Jon Hamm auditioned for the role of Jack Donaghy?! Pete Campbell lives off the grid?! What?!

25 YouTube Comments that are Actually Funny.

How cool would it be to be at this get together?

Behind the Scenes of Classic Movies. I spotted one from "Revenge of the Creature," one of my favorite MST3K episodes!

14 Photos of Marilyn Monroe that You've Probably Never Seen Before.

A great infographic detailing common rhetological fallacies.

I love collections of awesome photos of humans.

12 creative business cards.

What 10 Classic Books were Almost Called.

Disturbing unanswered questions from children's movies.

Up and Down

The last two days I have been breaking one of the cardinal rules of fire wife-dom, and that is to get my hopes up.

Rob left for a fire on Sunday. Since it was a small one I held out a slight hope he'd be home within a few days.  Just as they were preparing to come home, they got redirected to another fire.  The next day, same thing.  On Wednesday I woke up early and saw that there was a fire 10 miles from the edge of Santa Fe, and knew he'd go there (I was right).  He texted me this morning to say he was on his way back to the base but that (of course) they'd work a full work day. I cancelled several iterations of weekend plans thinking he'd be home.

Just after I'd spent money on groceries that will now probably never get eaten in anticipation of him coming home, I got another text from him and the crew heading all the way down to fucking Southern New Mexico, probably for the entire next week.

I like to think I've been doing better with this.  Each fire has gotten slightly easier and I don't find myself in a crumpled heap as often (which we here in Caitlin-land call progress).  But honestly, I was really fucking excited to see him, even though it's only been 5 days.  I really didn't want to sleep alone.  I didn't want to walk Cypress alone and eat alone and watch endless documentaries on Netflix and the Mad Men season finale alone.

So I'm pretty upset.  I know I've been through worse, I know it's always important to keep perspective. It'll pass, but I just need to whine.

In other news, if you'd like to come keep me company and grab a drink, I'm buying.

The Camel Spiders Get Revenge, and Other Things (Warning: Bug Photos)

A couple of months ago I shared with you a story about Rob's psychological battle with a camel spider back in Iraq.  I guess I must've pissed off the camel spider population, because last night they decided to get even for my libelous diatribe.

As I was preparing for bed, not thinking about camel spiders or any other terrifying beasts, I noticed a small bug-like creature zig-zagging around my kitchen and hiding under my trash can.  I grabbed my shoe and killed it without much of a thought.  However, as I looked closer, I realized that this zig-zagging little fucker was in fact a small version of the very camel spiders Rob had encountered in Iraq.

I was creeped out, but accepting, since we live in the goddamn desert and it only makes sense that there would be terrifying creatures haunting my home, right?

After disposing of the beast, I went into my bedroom before coming back to the kitchen.  As I went to pick up my phone charger, I noticed yet another camel spider running around in the act same place that the deceased one had been.  At this point I started to freak out a little bit, quite honestly.  I killed the second arachnid, and returned to my bedroom significantly shaken.

As I prepared to get into bed, I noticed a fucking third camel spider, the biggest of the three.  It was dead, and stiff, which makes me think that I may have stepped on it prior and brought it with me into the bedroom.  Despite its lack of vitality, I totally fucking lost it guys.  I cried, hyperventilated, contemplated going to a hotel, and looked at Cypress for support.  I triple- and quadruple-checked the bed and the entire kitchen three or four times (and even woke up in the middle of the night to check again, just in case).

This morning I woke up early and headed straight to Home Depot.  I think the camel spiders came through a gap between our patio door and the floor that I've been worrying about for months, so I bought a draft sealer, deadly bug spray, and sticky traps.  The camel spiders shall not have their night tonight.

Also, this is still happening:

So I am alone in my battle.  If you could say a prayer to the patron saint of Camel Spiders, I would much appreciate it.

Things I Don't Like that Others Seem to Love

I got this idea from Holly's blog so if you have a second, go over and say hello to her and read her post.

1. Twilight - Before you accuse me of being unfair, please know that I have read several of the Twilight books (always borrowed, never paid for a single one) and have seen the majority of the movies, though admittedly with the intention of getting drunk with a Twilight drinking game.  As a former 13-year-old girl I understand the appeal, I really do.  But guys, they are just fucking awful.  The message (hang around and eventually a man will hand you an identity and a reason to live) is terrible, the writing is even more terrible ("Edward looked at her amorously with love."), the story-telling is abysmal.  I really hope if that my children like Twilight, they are also understanding of how neither Bella nor Edward are role models to follow.

2. Soda and Beer.  Since I was a kid, I've never been able to drink soda.  It physically hurts my mouth and throat and makes me physically sick.  This applies to beer and any other carbonated beverages.

3. Wine.  I want to like wine, guys.  I want to be classy, I really do.  I just don't.  It's not as if I can't handle the taste of alcohol; some of my best friends are martinis.  I just don't think rotten grapes make for a yummy beverage.

4. Flowy Clothing.  To be fair, I'm only basing the fact that everyone must love this on the fact that there's a ton of this shit at Target.  I try on these clothes and they just don't fucking fit.  Maybe it's because I'm small, with short hair, and I already have to make sure I look feminine if I don't want to be mistaken for a boy or a lesbian (both of which have happened).  The flowy shit totally obscures my shape and makes me look like a solid block of human. I see people wearing it and it looks great, so maybe this is just some sort of weird conspiracy to make me more self-conscious.

5. High Heels with Socks.  Add this to the "looks great on other people" list (seeing a theme much?).  I did this as a little girl and I guess I can't get behind it again for that reason.  The other problem is, as soon as I put socks on that cover my ankle bones, it looks like I have cankles.  I think my legs are just too stubby.

6. Make-up.  I am just plain not interested in make-up or nail polish.  My main place to buy either of those things is either Walmart or the supermarket, and I keep the same 3 pieces (eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, mascara) for literally years.  If my eyes weren't so squinty I wouldn't even bother with it, quite frankly.

7. Seafood.  People think that because I am from Maine we must sacrifice lobsters every full moon and devour their flesh, or eat them for Thanksgiving, or something. And everyone is always so shocked when I tell them that I never eat lobster. I hate all seafood with the small exception of canned tuna (and even then I only eat it with a shit-ton of mayonnaise and bread).  I hate the smell and the taste that stays in your mouth for days.

What do you not like that others do?

Bits and Pieces

1. Cypress has been stressing me out to the max lately, which isn't great because we tend to feed off of one another's stress.  Back in Maine, she always loved going to doggy daycare.  She'd play all day and come home exhausted.  Here in New Mexico, she hasn't gone as often, and since I've been home and has often been subjected to my rapidly-changing emotions and stress levels.  I guess it's really gotten to her, because the few times I've tried to drop her off at daycare she has fucking flipped out.  She looks at me with crazy panic in her eyes and just whines/talks/howls incessantly.  A friend of mine works at the daycare she's been going to, and she said that while she warms up it does take some time.  I feel really bad that she's clearly internalized my stress so much, but I'm hoping it will be rectified by a few visits every week to get her back into it (and away from me and my crazy for a few hours).  The good news is that her daycare has a webcam, so I can watch what she does.

HAYY

2. Rob's gone on another fire.  It's little, so we're hoping it's a short one but as always, I can't get my hopes up.  I only got a text message and he's in a dead zone in terms of coverage.  I'm sad, but I don't feel as hopeless as I did the last time around which I'm hoping keeps up.

3. I'm working on getting another tattoo in the next few weeks.  Maybe I'll tell the story when and if I show it here.  It's going to look kind of geeky and funny but it actually means a lot to me, and is a design I've been thinking about since college.  

4. I know I've said it several times on here, but I really am so happy to have met the fire wives and to get to spend so much time with them.  This week we're going to spend some time by the pool and totally relax--I think we've earned it.

5. MAD MEN, RIGHT?!

6. I really want to thank all of you guys for the sweet tweets, comments and emails you've sent me lately.  I hate that I've been so absent on here, especially because I really want to write and just...can't.  Writing this post took so much longer than it ever, ever should. You guys are awesome and totally help keep me sane, which is saying a lot because I don't have a lot of sanity going around anyway.  

I wish you all a magical week in which all of your dreams come true.

Things that Make Me Laugh

1. Any number of quotes from Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Wet Hot American Summer, or MST3K. Some of them I've literally heard hundreds of times and it doesn't even matter, I laugh like a fuckin' banshee.

Highlights: 

"I'm afraid I shot my wad on what was supposed to be a 'dry run,' so you could say I have a bit of a mess on my hands."

"Beads!" "BEES?!" "BEADS." "BEADS?!" "GOB's not on board."

"We put Tim in front to absorb the first hail of bullets."

"Rowsdower, can you put out my head?"

"I'm planning on going to the gym later so I deserve a treat!"

"I want you inside me." "What?" "Oh hey, what's up? From before."

"Jim Stancil.  You know Jim? He's that guy."
"And all the flesh slipped off my skullll!"

"What's her name?" "Crindy!" "Name's not Crindy, GOB." "Saul...Zentzman! Nope, that's her lawyer."

"Paool, you is a werewilf!"

2. When Rob and I quote any of the above together.

3. Silly faces that Cypress makes, like when her lip gets caught on her gums and she looks like she's making a sneer.  We call it her "Dick Cheney" face.

4. When bigoted people prove how stupid they are with their own words.

5. When I catch one of my tattoos out of the corner of my eye, think it's a giant spider, and jump a mile.

6. About 85% of what George Takei posts on his Facebook page.

What makes YOU laugh?

Happy Friday friends!